BtotheR Tourney--First Round Analysis

Well, by now hopefully you have gotten a chance to look at the bracket. I have gone through the entire first round (including play-in games) and have done hours of research to provide you with a matchup-by-matchup analysis. This required some serious Facebook creeping...and I mean serious. I don't think I've ever creeped that hard. Anyways, I've done some research, and this is what I've come up with.

Play-In Games:

Repp vs. Voelker—This is an interesting matchup. Repp has been with Molly since freshman year (not officially, but we all knew what was going on). Repp is one of those guys who’s never in a hurry. Voelker battled through the distance for a year and now has his girl only an hour and a half away if my facebook creeping serves me right. Voelker has 3 years left on his degree, and the guy studies like a machine. Despite that, I say Voelker is the one-and-done in the BtotheR tourney. Repp’s chill pace advances him to the next round.

Goose vs. Padgett—Padgett has been with his girl since June 10, 2009. They have been known to pull an April Fools engagement in the past and it was pretty life-like. They have some distance going on just like Voelker. Goose has his girl close by at the 3003, but I’m not sure how long they’ve been together. I still give this one to Goose, mostly because if I remember right Padgett’s girl is a year or 2 younger than him. Padge is on to the next round…barely.

First Round:

Bauman vs. Repp—this matchup is about as close as NWC football playing some SEC school. Joe is about as single as single gets as of right now, and he has told me that he hasn’t even casted his pole to get some bait in the water so to speak. Repp was on phase 4 of the Relationship Poop Cycle as of last May (reference: http://clubtrillion.blogspot.com/2011/04/relationship-poop-cycle.html). Joe isn’t even on the Poop Cycle…Joe moves on to the next round easily.

Caleb Couwenhoven vs. Dammo—two good lookin guys that as far as I know are single. Dammo has been working the education department for years with no luck. Caleb is a youngster yet who as far as I can tell is still studying film and scouting reports on what NWC has to offer. Caleb’s bro Luke got married young, but I think Caleb outlasts Dammo and moves on to the next round when Dammo finds a great lady at the school he ends up at.

Simon-Wallace vs. Kabakas—Little known fact about Kabby, he is attracted to Caucasian women, which works in his favor at the N-Dubs. Chris is adjusting to the change from Bethel girls to NWC girls and is comin’ in hot. I think the first upset of the tourney happens here, with Kabakas moving on to the next round.

Entler vs. Horsch—Entler is coming off a relationship a few months ago while Horsch is scouting out this options after transferring in last year. With Entler graduated and out in the real world, his options go a little beyond the 3003. Even with that factor, I’m going to say Horsch knocks himself out of the tournament and Entler advances in a rankings upset.

Balzer vs. Zeller—Zeller has had some attempts during his 4 years at N-Dubs. On the flip side, Balzer, NWC’s most eligible bachelor and 2 sport stud has not even allowed himself to enter the market during his time here. Now he will be at the U for the next 2 years finishing up his degree, and I don’t see him changing his study habits now. Balzer advances easily while Zeller enjoys the married life.

Billy Bob vs. Swore—Marine vs. All-American. Both are single and hot items if I do say so myself. Swore is in his super senior season, while Billy Bob is entering his 2^nd year. We have been working on Swore to ask a certain professor on a date for a couple years now, but he isn’t budging. There can only be one reason for this resistance: he smells blood in the water. Like a shark, I say he swoops in on an unsuspecting lady and Billy Bob advances.

Kendall vs. Ostrom—Both have had their ups and downs in the dating world. Ostrom has been flawless in his role as Repp’s wingman, but now it’s time for him to branch out on his own too. Kendall is looking for a country girl who wants to get out of the cities as much as he does. I predict that Ostrom meets a lovely lady at Repp’s wedding and Kendall advances to the 2^nd round.

Cyle vs. Dexter—the pride of Oglivie, Cyle is another hot item that our lovely NWC girls just haven’t realized is on the market yet. Dexter is a 2 sport athlete and part of the “fab freshmen” or something like that. After some research, it looks like he has a special someone in his life (May 15, 2010)! With a 2+ year relationship on Cyle, Dexter is out and Oglivie’s finest moves on to the next round.

Youtzy vs. Padgett—This is another one of those NWC vs. and SEC team type of matchups. As much as Tim is striving for Relationships 201, Padgett is light years ahead, and even with Tim’s 4.3 40 speed he won’t be able to catch up. Tim moves on while Padge enjoys the married life.

Me vs. Kevin—This is funny, because Kevin has labeled himself a “match expert” and promised me a girl by last May. Obviously that didn’t happen and we are both sitting here single. I have a conflict of interest because I really hope Kevin moves on; I hope to be out of this tourney as early as possible. Lord willing (please, God, please) I get lucky…both here and on my wedding night…and Kevin moves on to the next round.

Sinnen vs. Meredith—Sinnen has himself a lovely lady while as far as I can tell Meredith is still in Relationships 101. Sinnen is still young, and I don’t see him popping the question for a couple years. Meredith is one year older, but is a few years behind in the girl department. I give the wedding win to Meredith is a come from behind surprise. Sinnen moves on to the next round.

DJ vs. Fletcher—Sleepy Deej has some great hair, especially when he wakes up in the morning. His future wife will love it. Fletcher has great moves, at least from what I see during games when he’s signaling plays. It’s those moves that get him the girl long before Deej rolls out of bed.

Friesen vs. Max—Friesen is another 1 seed, and just like the other one seeds, I don’t see this being a contest. Max has had his girl for a few years, and I say he has the question popped before Freeze reels his catch in. Freeze on to round 2.

Chang vs. Durkee—What this comes down to is age. Durkee is older (and is also off the market), Chang is still a young buck. Advantage here goes to Durkee big time in my mind, although maybe if Chang finds a long boarding girl they could have some pretty sweet dates! Still sticking to my gut…Chang is on to round 2.

Van Zee vs. Dontay—Van Zee was one of the “fab freshmen” along with Dex and Caleb, and he is a hottie ladies! If I was of the XX chromosome type I would have given him my number by now. Dontay is a quiet guy, but don’t let that fool ya. You have a great guy right there. The advantage here goes to Van Zee because he is coupled up with Caleb and Dex…power in numbers. Dontay is on to round 2.

Markwith vs. Tim Van Bockel—This is the last matchup for the first round. I am assuming Tim has a special someone judging by the amount of pictures on his facebook that include a particular girl, and I am not sure on Markwith…I have suspicions that are well supported that say he is entering Relationships 201 if he hasn’t already. Either way, Tim has a head start. Despite this head start, I think Markwith’s charm and flawless impersonations get him ahead of his competition and his age advantage gets him out of the tourney early, sending Tim on to round 2.