Saturday, August 18, 2012

BtotheR Tournament Bracket--Round 2 Analysis


Wow I apologize for this being so long since the first round analysis. Football started up and zapped every ounce of creative energy I had…even with me not practicing thanks to a bum hammy. Those hour-long meetings really start to suck, especially when you aren’t even on the practice film! Anyways, the time with the guys has helped me get updated on some situations and make my selections a little clearer. I hope you enjoy this round’s analysis.


Freeze vs. Chang— Interesting matchup here with a 1 seed vs. a 4 seed. I want to introduce some information to you from the actual March Madness bracket that I think will influence my decision here…“Only once have we had a Final Four with all four No. 1 seeds (2008)” (source: http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/page/tcmen12trends/2012-men-ncaa-tournament-bracket-trends-consider-making-picks-field-68). This tourney holds true to that, and Freeze’s flowing locks and firm muscular buttocks (too much?) find him a woman, and he lives happily ever after. Chang long boards into the next round.


Bauman vs. Couwenhoven— Big Stick walked through the first round with absolutely no resistance while Caleb had to battle a bit with Dammo. Honestly, that means nothing in this tournament, but it seemed to fit with the whole March Madness theme. Regardless, this time around Joe’s matchup is more like NWC vs. a school from the Big East conference…little bit closer than playing an SEC school but still a blowout. Joe continues his quest for another championship ring to go with his high school one.


Balzer vs. Billy Bob— Oh man this one is tough. You have NWC’s most eligible bachelor and then you have a military man (ladies love a man in uniform!). Balzer has 2 years of school left, while Billy Bob has 3 along with some overseas duty somewhere during that too. I have to go with my gut here and say that Billy Bob meets a lovely military girl or a girl that comes from a military family and they enjoy life with their own little regiment (kids). Balzer moves on to his engineering career and the next round.


Youtzy vs. Langmade—Both guys are coming off easy wins (I hope…since Kevin was matched up against me and all…) and are coming into the dating scene hot. Youtzy is a running back, which means he gets the 2nd most attention from the ladies. Kevin’s main position is kicker, which means girls consider him as more of a friend to take along on their shopping trips. Kevin has a few more connections with the NWC ladies than Tim does, but I say that Tim’s age and 1,000 yard season get him a one way ticket out of the tournament. Kevin moves on in the 1 vs. 5 seed upset.


Kabakas vs. Entler—CoCo’s interest in white girls (I also found out he likes Latinas, but that’s irrelevant at N-Dubs) helps him out at NWC, however on the flip side I don’t know many girls at NWC who have reciprocal preferences (after all, this is the Midwest). The girls that do are likely to be found living in Antioch. Unfortunately, Kabby doesn’t spend his free time over there, thus diminishing his odds by quite a bit. Entler is currently outside the NWC bubble working his magic. With a greatly expanded playing field, I give the advantage to Entler here and send Kabby to the Elite Eight.


Kendall vs. DeBoer— Cyle is best friends with Goose, who made an early exit in this tourney. He will undoubtedly be involved in Goose’s wedding in some way, which will provide him with an opportunity to meet someone. Unfortunately, I’m assuming a lot of the college kids at that wedding will be from the N-Dubs, thus not opening up a whole lot of new opportunities for Cyle. On the other side, preseason All-American Kendall “430” Sommerlot will be ripping things up on the defensive side of the ball from his linebacker spot. King of short short Thursdays, Kendall’s physique is a wonder to behold. I say that Cyle has a glimmer of hope at Goose’s wedding, but Kendall finds a country girl just in time and takes himself off the market.


Sinnen vs. DJ—This one is pretty cut and dry. Sinnen has a great girl and told me the other day that he has roughly a 2 year time frame on the ring, while I’m not even sure if Deej has talked to a girl since he got to NWC. Unless he meets a freshman girl this year that loves sleeping, poufy hair, and flannel sleep pants as much as he does, DJ advances.


Dontay vs. Tim VB—So I thought Dontay was going to play this season, but unfortunately we are Dontay-less for our 2012 campaign. That really hurts his chances of exiting this tourney in my opinion...Although, maybe now he will have more time to get to know the lovely ladies of the 3003. Both of these guys are quieter and more soft spoken, but some ladies find that attractive (mostly because they usually talk entirely too much and can’t afford to have a guy that wants to express his thoughts…haha ok so I exaggerated that, but you get my point). The advantage here goes to Tim, simply because of the statistics: NWC is home to a lopsided ratio when it comes to cultural background. Less options for Dontay=more chance of Tim finding someone first.


 So those are my 2nd round rankings. Feel free to disagree..after all this is America! I hope to hear which ones you disagreed with and why. I will hopefully be working on the Elite Eight matchups soon (as football allows). Until then, be on the lookout for girls that would help any/all of us get out of this tourney!


Here is an updated version of what my bracket is looking like:

Monday, August 6, 2012

BtotheR Tourney--First Round Analysis


Well, by now hopefully you have gotten a chance to look at the bracket. I have gone through the entire first round (including play-in games) and have done hours of research to provide you with a matchup-by-matchup analysis. This required some serious Facebook creeping...and I mean serious. I don't think I've ever creeped that hard. Anyways, I've done some research, and this is what I've come up with.


Play-In Games:

Repp vs. Voelker—This is an interesting matchup. Repp has been with Molly since freshman year (not officially, but we all knew what was going on). Repp is one of those guys who’s never in a hurry. Voelker battled through the distance for a year and now has his girl only an hour and a half away if my facebook creeping serves me right. Voelker has 3 years left on his degree, and the guy studies like a machine. Despite that, I say Voelker is the one-and-done in the BtotheR tourney. Repp’s chill pace advances him to the next round.

Goose vs. Padgett—Padgett has been with his girl since June 10, 2009. They have been known to pull an April Fools engagement in the past and it was pretty life-like. They have some distance going on just like Voelker. Goose has his girl close by at the 3003, but I’m not sure how long they’ve been together. I still give this one to Goose, mostly because if I remember right Padgett’s girl is a year or 2 younger than him. Padge is on to the next round…barely.


First Round:

Bauman vs. Repp—this matchup is about as close as NWC football playing some SEC school. Joe is about as single as single gets as of right now, and he has told me that he hasn’t even casted his pole to get some bait in the water so to speak. Repp was on phase 4 of the Relationship Poop Cycle as of last May (reference: http://clubtrillion.blogspot.com/2011/04/relationship-poop-cycle.html). Joe isn’t even on the Poop Cycle…Joe moves on to the next round easily.

Caleb Couwenhoven vs. Dammo—two good lookin guys that as far as I know are single. Dammo has been working the education department for years with no luck. Caleb is a youngster yet who as far as I can tell is still studying film and scouting reports on what NWC has to offer. Caleb’s bro Luke got married young, but I think Caleb outlasts Dammo and moves on to the next round when Dammo finds a great lady at the school he ends up at.

Simon-Wallace vs. Kabakas—Little known fact about Kabby, he is attracted to Caucasian women, which works in his favor at the N-Dubs. Chris is adjusting to the change from Bethel girls to NWC girls and is comin’ in hot. I think the first upset of the tourney happens here, with Kabakas moving on to the next round.

Entler vs. Horsch—Entler is coming off a relationship a few months ago while Horsch is scouting out this options after transferring in last year. With Entler graduated and out in the real world, his options go a little beyond the 3003. Even with that factor, I’m going to say Horsch knocks himself out of the tournament and Entler advances in a rankings upset.

Balzer vs. Zeller—Zeller has had some attempts during his 4 years at N-Dubs. On the flip side, Balzer, NWC’s most eligible bachelor and 2 sport stud has not even allowed himself to enter the market during his time here. Now he will be at the U for the next 2 years finishing up his degree, and I don’t see him changing his study habits now. Balzer advances easily while Zeller enjoys the married life.

Billy Bob vs. Swore—Marine vs. All-American. Both are single and hot items if I do say so myself. Swore is in his super senior season, while Billy Bob is entering his 2nd year. We have been working on Swore to ask a certain professor on a date for a couple years now, but he isn’t budging. There can only be one reason for this resistance: he smells blood in the water. Like a shark, I say he swoops in on an unsuspecting lady and Billy Bob advances.

Kendall vs. Ostrom—Both have had their ups and downs in the dating world. Ostrom has been flawless in his role as Repp’s wingman, but now it’s time for him to branch out on his own too. Kendall is looking for a country girl who wants to get out of the cities as much as he does. I predict that Ostrom meets a lovely lady at Repp’s wedding and Kendall advances to the 2nd round.

Cyle vs. Dexter—the pride of Oglivie, Cyle is another hot item that our lovely NWC girls just haven’t realized is on the market yet. Dexter is a 2 sport athlete and part of the “fab freshmen” or something like that. After some research, it looks like he has a special someone in his life (May 15, 2010)! With a 2+ year relationship on Cyle, Dexter is out and Oglivie’s finest moves on to the next round.

Youtzy vs. Padgett—This is another one of those NWC vs. and SEC team type of matchups. As much as Tim is striving for Relationships 201, Padgett is light years ahead, and even with Tim’s 4.3 40 speed he won’t be able to catch up. Tim moves on while Padge enjoys the married life.

Me vs. Kevin—This is funny, because Kevin has labeled himself a “match expert” and promised me a girl by last May. Obviously that didn’t happen and we are both sitting here single. I have a conflict of interest because I really hope Kevin moves on; I hope to be out of this tourney as early as possible. Lord willing (please, God, please) I get lucky…both here and on my wedding night…and Kevin moves on to the next round.

Sinnen vs. Meredith—Sinnen has himself a lovely lady while as far as I can tell Meredith is still in Relationships 101. Sinnen is still young, and I don’t see him popping the question for a couple years. Meredith is one year older, but is a few years behind in the girl department. I give the wedding win to Meredith is a come from behind surprise. Sinnen moves on to the next round.

DJ vs. Fletcher—Sleepy Deej has some great hair, especially when he wakes up in the morning. His future wife will love it. Fletcher has great moves, at least from what I see during games when he’s signaling plays. It’s those moves that get him the girl long before Deej rolls out of bed.

Friesen vs. Max—Friesen is another 1 seed, and just like the other one seeds, I don’t see this being a contest. Max has had his girl for a few years, and I say he has the question popped before Freeze reels his catch in. Freeze on to round 2.

Chang vs. Durkee—What this comes down to is age. Durkee is older (and is also off the market), Chang is still a young buck. Advantage here goes to Durkee big time in my mind, although maybe if Chang finds a long boarding girl they could have some pretty sweet dates! Still sticking to my gut…Chang is on to round 2.

Van Zee vs. Dontay—Van Zee was one of the “fab freshmen” along with Dex and Caleb, and he is a hottie ladies! If I was of the XX chromosome type I would have given him my number by now. Dontay is a quiet guy, but don’t let that fool ya. You have a great guy right there. The advantage here goes to Van Zee because he is coupled up with Caleb and Dex…power in numbers. Dontay is on to round 2.

Markwith vs. Tim Van Bockel—This is the last matchup for the first round. I am assuming Tim has a special someone judging by the amount of pictures on his facebook that include a particular girl, and I am not sure on Markwith…I have suspicions that are well supported that say he is entering Relationships 201 if he hasn’t already. Either way, Tim has a head start. Despite this head start, I think Markwith’s charm and flawless impersonations get him ahead of his competition and his age advantage gets him out of the tourney early, sending Tim on to round 2.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Bachelor to the Rapture March Madness

Ok, so it may not be March, but this tournament will definitely extend into (and past) March. I have referenced a thing called Bachelor to the Rapture a couple times before. Let me set the stage...when we came in as freshmen football guys, there were at least 8 upperclassmen that were either engaged or married on the team. One of those guys became a dad a couple games into the year too. Needless to say, you were in the minority if you were single. Fast forward 3 years. We are now seniors, and there is a whopping 1 guy on the team that is engaged (shout-out to super-super senior and 2 sport All-American Brian Lecheler!). In fact, we might be lucky if we have 8 guys enrolled in Relationships 201. So as you can tell, we are lacking a bit in the girl department compared to the guys that came before us.

A few years ago, Tim, Kendall, and some other guys realized our inadequate ability to reel in a female and brought about the concept of being a bachelor to the rapture. It has been a joke for a couple years now, about who is going to be the last man standing. Well, it's been long enough, and Tim and I decided this needs to be put into bracket format and played out. Being NCAA Division 3 athletes and devout followers of the NWC DOCC, we aren't allowed to place money on having the winning bracket. However, we can fill one out for fun (and for bragging rights).

Now, let me explain a little about how this was set up. We decided to extend the tourney a little more so we could get a more March Madness feel with the 4 brackets coming together. All of the guys on this bracket are returning players (with the exception of Evan Entler and James 'Changalang' Chang, who will not be joining us this season) who as of this post are yet to paint their name on the Rock. To get the general framework set, I selected (with Tim's approval) the top 4 (Big Stick Bauman, Timmy himself, our bride Josh Balzer, and Big Freeze Ryan Friesen). I also picked out the bottom 4 who are closest to getting engaged (Marshall Reppy puppy, Goose Swanson, Jordan Padgett, and Evan Voelker). The remaining players I put into excel and let it randomly rank each person. So if you don't know why someone is ranked 2 in their bracket, just know it was random selection.

So with that explained, I have included the bracket in a couple forms on here. By all means, we would LOVE for you to play along with us. Fill out a bracket and sit back and see how you do. This is going to be one long tourney (Tim and I have a 5 year roommate deal because neither one of us seem to be going anywhere fast), but it should be fun.

I already have my first round analysis completed, and I will be posting a matchup-by-matchup preview with my predictions soon....I want you guys to have a few days to read this and fill out your bracket before I post my predictions.

Anyways, have fun! This is a tournament where making it to the championship round isn't necessarily a good thing. Personally, I'm hoping to be a one-and-done.

Google Docs spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AlIvSEKNdA7ldGJnOFk2alpfUnJnSURuQ3lHRnJCZmc



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