Well, this is it!

Well this is it. After 3 months and 3 days, my Thoughts from the Guardshack is giving its final thought. As promised, this post has been written entirely while I sit on my butt in the guard shack…it’s the only proper way to write the last one. I will close this blog out a little more properly at the end, BUT FIRST we have a champion to crown! The Bachelor to the Rapture tourney has become a hot topic on the NWC Eagles Football team, and I get asked almost daily about some aspect of the tournament. I’m glad that what started out as something to pass the time as I sat here overnight and waved at the 2 people that would come onto campus (1 of which being the newspaper delivery lady) turned into an enjoyable piece of reading for some. I have put some additional research into this final installment and have interviewed both contenders to get a little more in depth.

Introducing: Daniel “DJ” Pyle

DJ came from Tim Youtzy’s bracket and had to battle Jacob Fletcher, Josh Sinnen, Kevin Langmade, and by far the toughest opponent in James “DJ Changalang” Chang to reach the championship match up  DJ is a stunning 6’1” 225lb hunk of Florida-raised, orange-fed man that is self-described as 50% Mexican and 50% mutt. Daniel attended Calvary Christian Academy, where he “didn't do a lot.” That’s a quote from the man himself. However, he was captain of the all-star football team he was on and also went to prom his senior year (junior year was a no-go tho fo sho). A little bit about his senior prom…his date was “obsessed with me, but I didn't want to date her, but I didn't know how to cut ties.” Talk about playing hard to get! Actually, he revealed that the main reason was that he was coming up to Minnesota and wanted to be available to the lucky ladies of the N-Dub. When asked about what he looks for in a girl, Deej said that he loves very blue eyes, brunette with blonde highlights (or blonde with brown highlights), Caucasian, and taller but not taller than him in high heels. And also, listen up ladies, he wants 2-3 kids (family man!!). When DJ first found out he was in the championship he was upset…really upset. It took him a solid week to begin to embrace the fact that he might actually win something for the first time in his life! (sorry Deej…that was a low blow…I apologize..kinda). By the time I interviewed him, he was running his mouth like a boxer before a match (see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsAC4lhbE0g). His quotes include “Bauman has less time at NWC and he will be out in the real world with more options” and “It’s time for an upset.”

The Challenger: Joey “Big Stick” Bauman

Joe was ranked #1 overall in this tournament to begin with. He marched easily through Marshall Repp, Caleb Couwenhoven, Kabakas “Big Smooth” “CoCo Bear” Clark, and Cyle DeBoer. His dominance is like Goliath…no one he has faced has stood a chance. I wish DJ’s first name would be David, because that would make for a super sweet Bible metaphor here, but alas I just have to abruptly end it...thanks a lot Deej. Joe is 5’9”212 lbs and was, until this year, the only NWC Eagle with a state championship ring. During his high school career Joe was a pretty good basketball player as well, and was the SnoDaze King his senior year as well as the lead guitarist at prom. That’s right, ladies, the man taught himself how to play guitar. Speaking of prom, his date, Jennifer, refused to go to prom unless she could go with him. Why he didn't take that and run with it just adds to the picture of how determined he is to stay single. Other female interaction came in college, where Joey has been a study partner with a girl in his biology class. While this might not seem like much, it’s a lot for Big Stick. In complete opposite fashion of DJ, Joe’s face would light up every time someone asked about who was in the championship. Deej’s frustration only added to Joey’s joy and pleasure of being there. When asked for a comment on why he should win this tournament, without missing a beat Joey said, “The day I was ranked number one overall was the day I won.”

SOOO. Both sides have been evaluated, but there can only be one winner. Who will be the Bachelor to the Rapture?

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I predict that JOEY “BIG STICK” BAUMAN comes away with the win and takes home the coveted (or maybe not so much?) ring and title of Bachelor to the Rapture!!! I just could not take DJ…Joe is dead set on winning this thing, and you can see it in his eyes. Deej, on the other hand, let slip in the interview that he has a couple fish in the sea at NWC that he is casting his hook towards in hopes of getting a bite. Congrats Joe on the victory and another championship ring to add to your collection!

Well, that does it for my predictions of the Bachelor to the Rapture tournament. Remember, they were only my predictions…I’m excited to see how this actually plays out.

With the close of the tournament comes a close to this blog. I want to acknowledge my inspiration; first, to Lance Westberg for the original NWC blog (http://lancewetberg.blogspot.com/) and second to Tim Youtzy for his blog and his push for me to start one (http://timyoutzy.blogspot.com/). Without these two men, my thoughts would have never left the guard shack, which I’m sure in some people’s opinions may have been a good thing (s/o to the 1^st amendment!). I also want to thank my loyal readers, especially, but definitely not limited to, Tim Youtzy, Isaac Schultz, Lauren Cleope, Coach Kirk Talley (and the sweetest woman on NWC soil, Mrs. Talley!!), and Greg Johnson. Also thanks to all my teammates for being troopers through this and having fun with it. It made it fun to write when people were discussing it. Last but not least, I want to thank Northwestern College Public Safety and all of the student officers who came before me and sat in this shack with nothing to do during the summer. It was an honor to share my thoughts and hopefully provide you with a little humor along with it. It’s been real, thanks for reading. God bless.

4-2=The fight for the title

The tournament is winding down, and there are only two blog posts left (including this one) before Thoughts from the Guardshack follows Yahtzee’s Roll on Life into hibernation. Sorry to start this off on a sad note, but 1) my semester is really busy, 2) yours is too judging by the sharp decline in views after school started, and 3) it just seems like a good place to end it. Before that happens, though, we have a tournament to analyze! We are down to the Final Four: Joey “Big Stick” Bauman, Cyle DeBoer, DJ Pyle, and James “Changalang” Chang. The #1 overall pick is still alive in Joe Bauman and he looks very poised to make a run at the ‘ship. Will he get past this round, or will his quest for ring #2 come up short. Actually, either way he is getting a 2^nd ring…but we all know which ring he wants more. Alright, here we go!

Joey Bauman vs. Cyle DeBoer—Two great guys, zero great ladies…actually zero ladies regardless of greatness. That’s a problem. To be honest, Cyle got put in a very tough bracket, and that is why he is in the Final Four. If he had been in the yellow bracket with Freisen, Chang, and Dontay he would have made a much earlier exit. But that’s life, sometimes the hands of fate slap you in the face…or in Cyle’s case they break a bone in your hand. However, Coach Talley has taught us how to make a positive out of a negative, and I think Cyle will use that. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First I have to talk about Joe a little bit…mainly because if I don’t he will go into a rage because he wasn’t mentioned and didn’t get any attention. Ok, so that’s a lie, but I need to talk about Joe regardless so here we go. Joe has this strange sense of pride about winning the Bachelor to the Rapture tournament. I don’t know why, but it’s almost like he’s found his life purpose through this. I don’t know how healthy that is, but Joe is my brother in Christ, and I support him in his life journey. That’s all you get Joe, but relax, there is more to come about you.

Back to Cyle. He broke a bone in his hand a few weeks ago and has been busy recovering and (hopefully) developing connections with the female gender. This might be through pity points with the cast and all, but that doesn’t matter. It’s just like banking in a 3 pointer, it might not be ideal, but the points count regardless. All of this to say, Cyle makes it out of this tournament, and celebrates his hard fought loss (victory?) with some God-honoring marital…well you know. Joe cuts down the net so to speak and heads into the championship game focused and ready for a tough battle.

DJ Pyle vs. James Chang—Battle of the south here; DJ hails from the land of oranges and Chang says he’s from Atlanta, although I thought for the longest time he was from Madison. That doesn’t matter, what matters is which one will get the lady first. Chang has some mad long boarding skills, and I just read on facebook today that DJ Changalang is coming back. On the other hand, DJ….well…is still DJ. It is appropriate and relevant to greet him with, “Mornin’ Deej” regardless of the time of day simply because for him it’s always morning. Sleepy Deej values a couple things: his bed and his hair. With the hair being extra poufy as of late, he has made several comments about it. I’m not a girl, so I don’t want to assume here, but I’m guessing poufy hair is not tops on the “What to look for in a guy” list. Just like with Joe, though, I will continue to support him in his life journey and let him learn this lesson in time.

Who will win this matchup? I was struggling for a decisive factor that would make this clear cut. I went back and forth and was honestly leaning toward sending Chang into the finals. To clear my mind a little bit, I sent out a twitter poll asking for opinions. It only took one response to get my decisive factor. Of all people it came from my summer blogging partner and the one who got me into all this, Tim Youtzy. His tweet reads as follows: “DJ Pyle advances. Rising asian population at NWC gives Chang a chance.” Boom. Decision made. That was the X-factor I needed and I can’t believe I missed it. I talked about NWC’s cultural makeup a lot when analyzing Kabakas “CoCo” Clark, and it applies here as well. While the N-Dub still has a small population of African-Americans, there is a rising number of Asians. In addition, the startup of his deejay career will help him in that department as well. I agree with Tim, Cyle, Dammo, and Isaac (who also picked DJ) and Mr. Pyle is in the finals.

Here we go, an epic battle for the ring and the rights to be called the Bachelor to the Rapture between Joe Bauman and DJ Pyle. Who will win? Find out in the next installment of Thoughts from the Guardshack (which will be written in the guard shack because it just seems like the right thing to do). 

Who's Heading to the Final Four??

Alright, here we go…down to the last 8 guys. Who will advance to that not-so-coveted Final Four? Of the remaining 8, we have two #1 seeds (including the #1 seed overall, Big Stick Bauman), a 4 seed, 5 seed, two 6 seeds, and two 7 seeds. Now, this would be a huge improbability in the real March Madness to have half the people ranked 6 or lower, but remember these guys’ rankings were put in the hands of fate…or Excel…however you want to look at it.

Also, with the growing popularity of this blog, I want to thank all of my readers… 2 things keep me going: you, and Tim’s blog (http://timyoutzy.blogspot.com/). Due to this widening fan base, I was going to say that this blog was brought to you by Midas, because that’s where I am writing this blog post from as I sit here and get multiple much needed repairs that will take $980 out of my NWC college fund. However, as a D3 athlete we learned all about the do’s and don’ts of life on our first night back at the 3003. About midway through the long list of rules the NCAA comes up with, we were told that we can’t endorse any product or service. So therefore, this blog can’t be brought to you by Midas. Sorry to disappoint, but I can’t (don’t) endorse them. Therefore, this is just another blog post… ah well, let’s get at it!

Bauman vs. Kabakas—Joe is the #1 pick overall in this tournament. When he found out his position at the top the other morning at breakfast, he was actually quite proud. That only confirms my suspicions that Joe is hungry for a ring again…apparently being the only guy on the NWC football team to win a state championship in high school isn’t good enough. In true #1 fashion, Joe holds out on the dating scene while CoCo’s smooth talking and rather fascinatingly large butt gets him a fine lady. Joe is on to the Final Four.

Balzer vs. DeBoer—NWC’s finest vs. Ogilvie’s finest, this matchup is hot. In my last round, I said that Cyle would meet someone at Goose’s wedding. Being a man of my word, I’m going to stay on that track and say that Cyle has the advantage here. However, I think Balzer leads a 4^th quarter drive that makes the matchup interesting. My gut says Balzer ties the knot first…

Kevin vs. DJ—I gotta give a shout out to Kevin here for being a servant leader. After discussing what I look for in a woman so that he could find her for me (remember, he’s a “match expert”) he realized that we have very similar tastes. This is problematic for him because he is passing a girl he could potentially be interested in on to me so I can exit this tourney. That’s servant leadership right there. It’s what Jesus would do. Because of that, and because DJ isn’t going anywhere fast, I’m giving Kevin the nod out of the tourney and pushing DJ into the Final Four.

Chang vs. Dontay—Two former football players who are out looking for a girl full time. I did some asking around about Dontay because I didn’t know him all that well last year (d-linemen don’t spend much…any…time around wide receivers). Turns out from my research that Mr. Hollins is likely to have quite a few connections at least. However, Chang also has his fair share of connections as well, so I don’t know how that compares. This matchup is really tough for me, to be honest, because I would have considered putting both guys real close to the championship matchup had they not met here. So what does a math major do when he can’t decide something? He turns to random number generation…if an even number popped up it was Chang and odd being Dontay. I did best out of 7 and the winner (by winner I mean getting out of the tourney) was….Dontay! Chang is into the Final Four.

Here is my updated bracket heading into the Final Four: 

BtotheR Tournament Bracket--Round 2 Analysis

Wow I apologize for this being so long since the first round analysis. Football started up and zapped every ounce of creative energy I had…even with me not practicing thanks to a bum hammy. Those hour-long meetings really start to suck, especially when you aren’t even on the practice film! Anyways, the time with the guys has helped me get updated on some situations and make my selections a little clearer. I hope you enjoy this round’s analysis.

Freeze vs. Chang— Interesting matchup here with a 1 seed vs. a 4 seed. I want to introduce some information to you from the actual March Madness bracket that I think will influence my decision here…“Only once have we had a Final Four with all four No. 1 seeds (2008)” (source: http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/page/tcmen12trends/2012-men-ncaa-tournament-bracket-trends-consider-making-picks-field-68). This tourney holds true to that, and Freeze’s flowing locks and firm muscular buttocks (too much?) find him a woman, and he lives happily ever after. Chang long boards into the next round.

Bauman vs. Couwenhoven— Big Stick walked through the first round with absolutely no resistance while Caleb had to battle a bit with Dammo. Honestly, that means nothing in this tournament, but it seemed to fit with the whole March Madness theme. Regardless, this time around Joe’s matchup is more like NWC vs. a school from the Big East conference…little bit closer than playing an SEC school but still a blowout. Joe continues his quest for another championship ring to go with his high school one.

Balzer vs. Billy Bob— Oh man this one is tough. You have NWC’s most eligible bachelor and then you have a military man (ladies love a man in uniform!). Balzer has 2 years of school left, while Billy Bob has 3 along with some overseas duty somewhere during that too. I have to go with my gut here and say that Billy Bob meets a lovely military girl or a girl that comes from a military family and they enjoy life with their own little regiment (kids). Balzer moves on to his engineering career and the next round.

Youtzy vs. Langmade—Both guys are coming off easy wins (I hope…since Kevin was matched up against me and all…) and are coming into the dating scene hot. Youtzy is a running back, which means he gets the 2^nd most attention from the ladies. Kevin’s main position is kicker, which means girls consider him as more of a friend to take along on their shopping trips. Kevin has a few more connections with the NWC ladies than Tim does, but I say that Tim’s age and 1,000 yard season get him a one way ticket out of the tournament. Kevin moves on in the 1 vs. 5 seed upset.

Kabakas vs. Entler—CoCo’s interest in white girls (I also found out he likes Latinas, but that’s irrelevant at N-Dubs) helps him out at NWC, however on the flip side I don’t know many girls at NWC who have reciprocal preferences (after all, this is the Midwest). The girls that do are likely to be found living in Antioch. Unfortunately, Kabby doesn’t spend his free time over there, thus diminishing his odds by quite a bit. Entler is currently outside the NWC bubble working his magic. With a greatly expanded playing field, I give the advantage to Entler here and send Kabby to the Elite Eight.

Kendall vs. DeBoer— Cyle is best friends with Goose, who made an early exit in this tourney. He will undoubtedly be involved in Goose’s wedding in some way, which will provide him with an opportunity to meet someone. Unfortunately, I’m assuming a lot of the college kids at that wedding will be from the N-Dubs, thus not opening up a whole lot of new opportunities for Cyle. On the other side, preseason All-American Kendall “430” Sommerlot will be ripping things up on the defensive side of the ball from his linebacker spot. King of short short Thursdays, Kendall’s physique is a wonder to behold. I say that Cyle has a glimmer of hope at Goose’s wedding, but Kendall finds a country girl just in time and takes himself off the market.

Sinnen vs. DJ—This one is pretty cut and dry. Sinnen has a great girl and told me the other day that he has roughly a 2 year time frame on the ring, while I’m not even sure if Deej has talked to a girl since he got to NWC. Unless he meets a freshman girl this year that loves sleeping, poufy hair, and flannel sleep pants as much as he does, DJ advances.

Dontay vs. Tim VB—So I thought Dontay was going to play this season, but unfortunately we are Dontay-less for our 2012 campaign. That really hurts his chances of exiting this tourney in my opinion...Although, maybe now he will have more time to get to know the lovely ladies of the 3003. Both of these guys are quieter and more soft spoken, but some ladies find that attractive (mostly because they usually talk entirely too much and can’t afford to have a guy that wants to express his thoughts…haha ok so I exaggerated that, but you get my point). The advantage here goes to Tim, simply because of the statistics: NWC is home to a lopsided ratio when it comes to cultural background. Less options for Dontay=more chance of Tim finding someone first.

 So those are my 2^nd round rankings. Feel free to disagree..after all this is America! I hope to hear which ones you disagreed with and why. I will hopefully be working on the Elite Eight matchups soon (as football allows). Until then, be on the lookout for girls that would help any/all of us get out of this tourney!

Here is an updated version of what my bracket is looking like:

BtotheR Tourney--First Round Analysis

Well, by now hopefully you have gotten a chance to look at the bracket. I have gone through the entire first round (including play-in games) and have done hours of research to provide you with a matchup-by-matchup analysis. This required some serious Facebook creeping...and I mean serious. I don't think I've ever creeped that hard. Anyways, I've done some research, and this is what I've come up with.

Play-In Games:

Repp vs. Voelker—This is an interesting matchup. Repp has been with Molly since freshman year (not officially, but we all knew what was going on). Repp is one of those guys who’s never in a hurry. Voelker battled through the distance for a year and now has his girl only an hour and a half away if my facebook creeping serves me right. Voelker has 3 years left on his degree, and the guy studies like a machine. Despite that, I say Voelker is the one-and-done in the BtotheR tourney. Repp’s chill pace advances him to the next round.

Goose vs. Padgett—Padgett has been with his girl since June 10, 2009. They have been known to pull an April Fools engagement in the past and it was pretty life-like. They have some distance going on just like Voelker. Goose has his girl close by at the 3003, but I’m not sure how long they’ve been together. I still give this one to Goose, mostly because if I remember right Padgett’s girl is a year or 2 younger than him. Padge is on to the next round…barely.

First Round:

Bauman vs. Repp—this matchup is about as close as NWC football playing some SEC school. Joe is about as single as single gets as of right now, and he has told me that he hasn’t even casted his pole to get some bait in the water so to speak. Repp was on phase 4 of the Relationship Poop Cycle as of last May (reference: http://clubtrillion.blogspot.com/2011/04/relationship-poop-cycle.html). Joe isn’t even on the Poop Cycle…Joe moves on to the next round easily.

Caleb Couwenhoven vs. Dammo—two good lookin guys that as far as I know are single. Dammo has been working the education department for years with no luck. Caleb is a youngster yet who as far as I can tell is still studying film and scouting reports on what NWC has to offer. Caleb’s bro Luke got married young, but I think Caleb outlasts Dammo and moves on to the next round when Dammo finds a great lady at the school he ends up at.

Simon-Wallace vs. Kabakas—Little known fact about Kabby, he is attracted to Caucasian women, which works in his favor at the N-Dubs. Chris is adjusting to the change from Bethel girls to NWC girls and is comin’ in hot. I think the first upset of the tourney happens here, with Kabakas moving on to the next round.

Entler vs. Horsch—Entler is coming off a relationship a few months ago while Horsch is scouting out this options after transferring in last year. With Entler graduated and out in the real world, his options go a little beyond the 3003. Even with that factor, I’m going to say Horsch knocks himself out of the tournament and Entler advances in a rankings upset.

Balzer vs. Zeller—Zeller has had some attempts during his 4 years at N-Dubs. On the flip side, Balzer, NWC’s most eligible bachelor and 2 sport stud has not even allowed himself to enter the market during his time here. Now he will be at the U for the next 2 years finishing up his degree, and I don’t see him changing his study habits now. Balzer advances easily while Zeller enjoys the married life.

Billy Bob vs. Swore—Marine vs. All-American. Both are single and hot items if I do say so myself. Swore is in his super senior season, while Billy Bob is entering his 2^nd year. We have been working on Swore to ask a certain professor on a date for a couple years now, but he isn’t budging. There can only be one reason for this resistance: he smells blood in the water. Like a shark, I say he swoops in on an unsuspecting lady and Billy Bob advances.

Kendall vs. Ostrom—Both have had their ups and downs in the dating world. Ostrom has been flawless in his role as Repp’s wingman, but now it’s time for him to branch out on his own too. Kendall is looking for a country girl who wants to get out of the cities as much as he does. I predict that Ostrom meets a lovely lady at Repp’s wedding and Kendall advances to the 2^nd round.

Cyle vs. Dexter—the pride of Oglivie, Cyle is another hot item that our lovely NWC girls just haven’t realized is on the market yet. Dexter is a 2 sport athlete and part of the “fab freshmen” or something like that. After some research, it looks like he has a special someone in his life (May 15, 2010)! With a 2+ year relationship on Cyle, Dexter is out and Oglivie’s finest moves on to the next round.

Youtzy vs. Padgett—This is another one of those NWC vs. and SEC team type of matchups. As much as Tim is striving for Relationships 201, Padgett is light years ahead, and even with Tim’s 4.3 40 speed he won’t be able to catch up. Tim moves on while Padge enjoys the married life.

Me vs. Kevin—This is funny, because Kevin has labeled himself a “match expert” and promised me a girl by last May. Obviously that didn’t happen and we are both sitting here single. I have a conflict of interest because I really hope Kevin moves on; I hope to be out of this tourney as early as possible. Lord willing (please, God, please) I get lucky…both here and on my wedding night…and Kevin moves on to the next round.

Sinnen vs. Meredith—Sinnen has himself a lovely lady while as far as I can tell Meredith is still in Relationships 101. Sinnen is still young, and I don’t see him popping the question for a couple years. Meredith is one year older, but is a few years behind in the girl department. I give the wedding win to Meredith is a come from behind surprise. Sinnen moves on to the next round.

DJ vs. Fletcher—Sleepy Deej has some great hair, especially when he wakes up in the morning. His future wife will love it. Fletcher has great moves, at least from what I see during games when he’s signaling plays. It’s those moves that get him the girl long before Deej rolls out of bed.

Friesen vs. Max—Friesen is another 1 seed, and just like the other one seeds, I don’t see this being a contest. Max has had his girl for a few years, and I say he has the question popped before Freeze reels his catch in. Freeze on to round 2.

Chang vs. Durkee—What this comes down to is age. Durkee is older (and is also off the market), Chang is still a young buck. Advantage here goes to Durkee big time in my mind, although maybe if Chang finds a long boarding girl they could have some pretty sweet dates! Still sticking to my gut…Chang is on to round 2.

Van Zee vs. Dontay—Van Zee was one of the “fab freshmen” along with Dex and Caleb, and he is a hottie ladies! If I was of the XX chromosome type I would have given him my number by now. Dontay is a quiet guy, but don’t let that fool ya. You have a great guy right there. The advantage here goes to Van Zee because he is coupled up with Caleb and Dex…power in numbers. Dontay is on to round 2.

Markwith vs. Tim Van Bockel—This is the last matchup for the first round. I am assuming Tim has a special someone judging by the amount of pictures on his facebook that include a particular girl, and I am not sure on Markwith…I have suspicions that are well supported that say he is entering Relationships 201 if he hasn’t already. Either way, Tim has a head start. Despite this head start, I think Markwith’s charm and flawless impersonations get him ahead of his competition and his age advantage gets him out of the tourney early, sending Tim on to round 2.

Bachelor to the Rapture March Madness

Ok, so it may not be March, but this tournament will definitely extend into (and past) March. I have referenced a thing called Bachelor to the Rapture a couple times before. Let me set the stage...when we came in as freshmen football guys, there were at least 8 upperclassmen that were either engaged or married on the team. One of those guys became a dad a couple games into the year too. Needless to say, you were in the minority if you were single. Fast forward 3 years. We are now seniors, and there is a whopping 1 guy on the team that is engaged (shout-out to super-super senior and 2 sport All-American Brian Lecheler!). In fact, we might be lucky if we have 8 guys enrolled in Relationships 201. So as you can tell, we are lacking a bit in the girl department compared to the guys that came before us.

A few years ago, Tim, Kendall, and some other guys realized our inadequate ability to reel in a female and brought about the concept of being a bachelor to the rapture. It has been a joke for a couple years now, about who is going to be the last man standing. Well, it's been long enough, and Tim and I decided this needs to be put into bracket format and played out. Being NCAA Division 3 athletes and devout followers of the NWC DOCC, we aren't allowed to place money on having the winning bracket. However, we can fill one out for fun (and for bragging rights).

Now, let me explain a little about how this was set up. We decided to extend the tourney a little more so we could get a more March Madness feel with the 4 brackets coming together. All of the guys on this bracket are returning players (with the exception of Evan Entler and James 'Changalang' Chang, who will not be joining us this season) who as of this post are yet to paint their name on the Rock. To get the general framework set, I selected (with Tim's approval) the top 4 (Big Stick Bauman, Timmy himself, our bride Josh Balzer, and Big Freeze Ryan Friesen). I also picked out the bottom 4 who are closest to getting engaged (Marshall Reppy puppy, Goose Swanson, Jordan Padgett, and Evan Voelker). The remaining players I put into excel and let it randomly rank each person. So if you don't know why someone is ranked 2 in their bracket, just know it was random selection.

So with that explained, I have included the bracket in a couple forms on here. By all means, we would LOVE for you to play along with us. Fill out a bracket and sit back and see how you do. This is going to be one long tourney (Tim and I have a 5 year roommate deal because neither one of us seem to be going anywhere fast), but it should be fun.

I already have my first round analysis completed, and I will be posting a matchup-by-matchup preview with my predictions soon....I want you guys to have a few days to read this and fill out your bracket before I post my predictions.

Anyways, have fun! This is a tournament where making it to the championship round isn't necessarily a good thing. Personally, I'm hoping to be a one-and-done.

Google Docs spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AlIvSEKNdA7ldGJnOFk2alpfUnJnSURuQ3lHRnJCZmc

JPEG Picture:

Country vs. City

Hello my fellow Americans. After my last blog generated some mixed reviews, I first want to address that. I apologize to anyone who was offended by my sarcasm. I honestly have nothing against soccer players (my roommate is a soccer player); they have just been known as field fairies for as long as I can remember. They make fun of us, we make fun of them, and everyone’s a winner. I also want to give a special thanks to a Christian mentor of mine for calling me out on my strong usage of negative language. He called me and we had a nice conversation, and I realized (thanks to him) that I was out of line in some spots. I went back and toned down the harsh spots, and I feel the edited version more accurately describes my point while still maintaining some comedy (I hope). I honestly really love NWC and NWC Football, and it has been by far the best 3 years of my life.

SO, now that we have that taken care of, let’s move on to the here and now. In this post’s thoughts, I am going to address some differences between living in the cities and living in the boonies. If you don’t know what the term “boonies” means, I automatically peg you as a city slicker. But, hey, that’s ok…I hope this blog can give you an appreciation for my homeland.

As many of you know, I grew up ¼ of a mile outside of a small town in Iowa, Frankville to be exact. Frankville is a bustling metropolis of about 75 people, and we technically are considered a village because we don’t have a mayor. We have one bar and one church. On Christmas Eve day the bar has their customer appreciation day, so the town comes and has food and drinks (don’t worry N-Dubs, this guy has a pop). The bar then closes down at about 4 so everyone can go home and get dressed for church that night. Since Frankville is lacking a little bit in the population department, all of us Frankvillians drive the 10 minutes to school in Postville, a town of about 2,000. There are about 170 kids freshmen-senior, and I graduated in a class of 36. That’s right, three-six. You have to drive 15 minutes to get to a town that has a stoplight in it and about an hour and a half to get to an interstate highway. This brings me to my first difference between the cities and the country:

Traffic/Driving:

As mentioned in “Life Lessons from Coach Talley” I am having trouble getting used to the traffic up here. As you may have noticed in the last paragraph, back home you measure distance in time. If you were to ask a local for directions, you are likely to hear something like, “Well you drive east for 4 minutes or so, turn by the ol’ Van Wey farm, go north on roller coaster road for a ways and turn right after the big bend.” Why is distance measured in time? Well, simply put, you pretty much go between 55-60 mph the whole time. Slow traffic is handled easily by passing, and the only time you have to slow down is if you get stuck behind a tractor in a no passing zone (also known as a traffic jam back home). It’s a given to assume you will go a mile a minute (60mph=1mpm for you non-math people out there…don’t listen to her: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qhm7-LEBznk ).

In the cities, if I get somewhere without having to slam on my breaks multiple times because of some moron cutting across 4 lanes of traffic with no blinker, it is a rare jewel of a day! In the cities, my 15 mile commute to Henry Sibley High School (where I coach) can take anywhere from 25-50 minutes. I could rant for days about why this happens, but I will avoid that for your sake. All I want to say is that 1) blinkers are meant to tell others where you intend to go, not where you have already gone or where you have already started going. Even simpler, USE the blinker. It’s there for a reason. And 2) When one of the lanes is closed and you are asked to merge, it doesn’t mean go to the front and try to wiggle in. Get over yourself—you aren’t the president so you don’t get special privileges.

The last point with this is that in the country, you look at who the driver is in the other lane. Chances are you know them, but even if you don’t you throw up the 2 finger wave and smile. I did that my freshmen year up here and I quickly realized from the awkward and sometimes threatening stares that I was on track to get shot at sooner or later.

Country-1, Cities-0

Accessibility:

Back home, if you want McDonalds, it’s a 15 minute drive. Walmart or a grocery store? 15 minutes. Movie theatre? 15 minutes. Gas station? 10 minutes. There were times in high school where I put off filling my car up one trip too long and I had to go to the machine shed (if you don’t know what those are, google it) and get the can of lawn mower gas just so I could get into town. Going to an actual mall was a big occasion that involved an hour and a half drive, and I think I went to one twice in my first 18 years of life. Compare that to now: I can chose between 4 different McDonalds within a 4 mile radius of NWC. There are 2 malls within 1.5 miles, with the Mall of America about 25 minutes away. Grocery stores? Take your pick. Gas stations? A dime a dozen. Movie theatre? One right down the road in Rosedale (AND it has multiple screens!!). The options are endless for things. In fact, when my family comes up to visit, we drive around for way too long because there are so many restaurant options that they can’t decide which one to go with. Growing up, you had to plan ahead because nothing irritated mom more than having to run into town at 8pm to get a gallon of milk because you forgot to put it on the grocery list and now she can’t finish her ___ (insert food here) she’s making for some potluck. Now I can just scoot on over and pick some up. While this is great, it is also problematic. Freshman year just the idea of a McDonalds being so close had me eating there way too much…45 pounds later I still struggle with this fact. But that’s beside the point. The point is, I love having things so close!

Country-1, Cities-1

Atmosphere:

This tie breaker category is a biggy. First: smell. The cities have various smells, none of which bring distinct memories to my brain, unless you count the smell of marijuana that reminds me of when I used to donate plasma down on University Ave for an extra $55/week (quote heard there: "I thought somethin' smelled like weed, but then I realized I'M the one that smelled like weed!"). However, I can tell you the instant I smell cow manure, and let me tell you it is then that I throw my head back, inhale deeply, and sigh “Ahhh home.” I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve heard the phrase, “Smells like money” said growing up when passing a particularly smelly manure spreader. I suppose to city people this may not be pleasant, but let me just say that that smell is why your gas, meat, milk, etc. isn’t even higher priced than it is already.

Second: Wide open spaces. When I go home I make a point of peeing outside at least once, just because I can. Also, there is nothing more free in life than to run around in the yard naked as a small child, and I think this may be part of why city folk grow up to be so stressed out. Once you pass that ok-to-run-around-naked age, you can run around the yard catching lightning bugs or stare up at the stars. I haven’t seen a single lightning bug in the 3 years I’ve been in the cities, and that is quite depressing. For these reasons, as soon as I have kids (Lord willing, and assuming I ever get fully enrolled in 201 and beyond) I will make sure they can enjoy these things.

The tie breaker, in my mind, is not even close. Country-2, City-1.

While my comparison is not extensive, I feel it highlights some big differences. Each place has its good and bad, but at the end of the day, this saying holds true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8-B5cyfK6A

Life Lessons from Coach Talley

Well it’s been a whole 32 hours since the first blog entry came into existence, and I am amazed at the viewership numbers. I credit this largely to Tim; he’s been flawless in his volunteer hype man role. I was even pleased to see some ladies signing on (s/o to fellow Iowan Lauren Cleope!) and trust me ladies, this blog will be enjoyable for you, so keep reading.

So as mentioned last blog, Tim’s Relationships 101 blog got me my first date in about 2 years, and that date occurred last night. My quest for acceptance into Relationships 201 had me taking my beautiful date to the Twinkie’s game vs. the Kansas City Royals. I had the tickets that I had gotten off of Craigslist for a great price, and was praying like mad they were real. The lady I bought them from seemed legit, but we aren’t in Iowa anymore so can’t no one be trusted! With a 5:45pm scheduled date pickup time, I was set and ready to go.

Now, before I go farther, please note the title of this post. You are probably asking yourself, “Why is a post about a date titled ‘Life Lessons from Coach Talley’?” Or, knowing Mrs. Talley, maybe you aren’t, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Coach Talley has taught me numerous life lessons during my years as an NWC Eagle, and two of them really came into play during this date.

Life Lessons #1&2: “Pray without ceasing” and “Take joy in adversity”

It all starts at 4:45pm. I’m at a grad party for a girl in the youth group when my boy Jim says his wife has the car and asks if I could drop him off at his house. He tells me he lives on the way to my date’s house, so I say that’s fine and we head back to the Lodge so I can change into some fresh clothes before we go. We leave slightly before my 5:20 previously planned departure time and everything is lookin good. Then it hits…no, not the Hershey squirts or anything; something far worse—Traffic. As an Iowan, I’m still struggling to get used to the insane amount of time it takes to get places during rush hour. I failed to remember this and plan accordingly, so here we are cruisin hwy 36 at a speedy 30mph. We get about halfway there, and I realize I’m genna be cutting it close to my promised ETA. I shoot her a text quick saying I may be just a couple minutes late.

5 minutes later my ETA has come and gone, and I am just dropping Jim off at his house, with still a 10 minute drive ahead of me. Now, a general rule with first dates is that the guy needs to be on time or early, while the girl really has no time constraints. So here I am flying up hwy 61, doing a dicey 70-75mph in a 50 and weaving through traffic like a NASCAR driver on meth. To say I was comin in hot would be an understatement. By this time it is 5:55 and I’m thinking there’s no way she’s genna be ok with my tardiness. I then take Coach’s advice: I start praying. I prayed for grace, no red lights, and no cops. And ya know, sometimes God decides to let you have your way, and this was one of those times. I got all 3! I went 6 for 6 on traffic lights, saw no cops, and when I pulled into her driveway at an embarrassing 6:02 she was all smiles and full of grace even before I gave her a play-by-play explanation of why I was 17 minutes late.

After the potentially deadly start to the night, we get to Target Field in great spirits and go to the gate. More prayers get shot up to the Big Man for these tickets to be legit; after all being 0-2 with 2 strikeouts is no bueno. But we got through and I could now sit back and relax with my beautiful date by my side. After an exciting 9^th inning that ended in the Twinkies coming up a bit short, we made our way to the car along with the masses. Being roughly 100 lbs bigger than her (and being the man), I was leading the charge through the herd of people, much like what may happen this fall if I play o-line, and she was sticking close by with her hand around my arm. About halfway out of the stadium, something totally unexpected and unplanned happened. As we were walking, our hands hit. Now, normally it’s whatever, but this time they hit in such a way that our fingers literally slid together and interlocked. I swear it was accidental. There was a moment where neither of us knew what the other was thinking, which actually come to think of it happens a lot between guys and gals. After pulling away slightly and getting a read on what she thought (after all it was a first date and I had no intentions of hand holding) we ended up holding hands out to the parking ramp. I was that much closer to getting into Relationships 201!

After getting lost in the parking ramp for a bit (remember, I’m from a place where parking ramps are considered “big city livin”) and taking a bit of a detour in our quest to find 35W North without hitting any pedestrians, we arrived safely back in her driveway. The night ended with super positive feedback and a really tight hug. Between my late arrival, not knowing for sure if the tickets were legit, the freak hand holding incident, getting lost in the parking ramp, and driving around Minneapolis for a bit trying to avoid fatalities, I could have been wound up tighter than a homeschooler at a high school dance. But thanks to Coach Talley’s 3 years of advice on prayer and dealing with adversity I am now that much closer to Relationships 201!

Intro to the Guardshack

Hello to all my followers! Which, actually, at this point is probably just Tim, but hey, that's ok. Drawing inspiration from two of NWCNation's finest, the always wet Lance Westberg and the pride of Hinton, Iowa, Blue Bunny Ice Cream expert, and one of the leaders of the Bachelor to the Rapture movement Tim Youtzy, I have decided to share my thoughts and insights on life with you. Now, there are two distinct places where my "lightbulb moments" happen; one involves a porcelain throne in a small, smelly space, and the other involves an old stinky office chair in an equally small, smelly space (also known as the NWC Guardshack). It is the thoughts that arrive during my time in the latter that I will blog about, mainly because I have more time then and my legs don't fall asleep there.

What have I been doing with my summer, you ask? Well, the short answer would be livin' the dream. How many other people in the world get paid to watch Netflix and/or Facebook creep for 6-8 hours/night? Yeah, the hours are weird and my health is probably going down the drain because I eat to stay awake, but someone has to keep the campus of Northwestern College and Radio safe by waving at the 2 people that come through during my shift.

So while I don't know what I will be blogging about, Timmy has faith in me and I will do what I can to not let him down. If you haven't read his blog, head on over to http://timyoutzy.blogspot.com/ and be inspired. The most current post, Relationships 101, has been especially useful for me. In fact, I'm going to give him credit for getting me a date 2 days later (first date in over 2 years no less!). Simply put, the man knows what he's doing...after all, he is from Iowa. So between now and the next time I throw up a blog (possibly as early as Saturday if something funny happens on that date Friday night) be inspired by Timmy. Until then, also feel comfort and peace knowing your dear NWC is as safe and secure as the White House.