The Last Shift: 10 Things UNWSP Students Should Know

Over my 2 years as a student worker for Public Safety I have logged 1,531.75 hours, locked tens of thousands of doors, and consumed way more calories than I should have while I tried to stay awake at 4am. I have decided to revive this blog one last time in the guardshack, the place where it all started, but this post will be a bit more sentimental than the others.

I have been very reflective this week, being my last week as a student at NWC and all, and I feel the need to lend some wisdom to the future UNWSP students. Before I get going, I must say that my 4 years at Northwestern have been far and away the absolute best years of my life. I have met amazing friends, played for the best coaching staff in the nation, was blessed with my soon-to-be wife, and have been transformed from a selfish boy to a man after God's heart. This post, as the title implies, is my top 10 words of advice for UNWSP students, current and future (these 10 are in no particular order).

#1: Find a church and get involved

More often than not, you probably grew up going to church or have been going to church regularly before you came to Northwestern. Now you are on your own, and Bedside Baptist is a warm and comfortable place to attend service. Or maybe you use the excuse that you watch a sermon online. Or my personal favorite, you don't have a ride to church. The bottom line here is that too often we forget what the point of church truly is once we get out on our own. Church isn't a sermon. Church isn't some Bible reading. Church is a get together of fellow believers, a weekly family reunion, for the purpose of worshiping God together and encouraging each other. With that, the Church needs you. If you are just going and sitting and leaving week after week, you are there for the wrong reasons. Get involved, give your time (and please tithe...go without getting Caribou one day a week or something), give your talents. We are called to be servants of God, to help to further build the Church on this planet.

#2: Take advantage of the professors

Seriously, Northwestern has some of the best professors, in my biased opinion. These professors have had so many different experiences and areas of expertise, and they are here to share that with you. The majority aren't here to make money and leave; they are here to genuinely invest in you and make you a better person. But you need to seek them out. They have many different students, they can't seek out everyone. You have to seek them out, and they will be more than happy to help you.

#3: Utilize quiet places

If you are ever in need of a place to go to get away from everything and simply read your Bible and pray, I have a couple suggestions for you. I have always been a big fan of the backside of the island next to the water. Another, lesser known place, that has of late become my new favorite is on 5th floor Naz. Only 4 floors, you say? Think again. If you go to the end of the hallway by the ALPHA center and go through the door that says it's supposed to remain shut, there is a staircase. Go up those stairs (they actually go to the smaller tower, but that door remains locked) and at the top there will be a Bible and a journal. These have been placed here by a staff member at NWC, and they are meant for you to read and journal whatever God has placed on your heart. Some are anonymous, some have names on them, but all of the entries are heartfelt to God. It is seriously the most amazing little known places on campus.

#4: Get a job...a 3.0 beats a 4.0

What's that Kassidy? You just said a 3.0 GPA is better than a 4.0? Yes, yes I did, if that 3.0 has work experience while the 4.0 has spent their years doing nothing but studying. I have talked with many bosses of random companies and there is definitely a common theme--if you don't know how to operate in a work setting, a 4.0 means nothing. Obviously, having both would be ideal, but if you have to sacrifice a couple tenths of a point on your GPA in order to have solid work experience, it's worth it in the long run. It doesn't mean you have to get a job at a big company, just work somewhere. It teaches discipline, work ethic, and time management, three qualities employers like.

#5: Learn something from chapel

Chapel gets a bad reputation for some reason at Northwestern. Too many people complain about it (more on complaining later), and they choose to not pay attention. I will be the first to admit, I've slept through more than a couple chapels in my career, but I've also had my world rocked by great lessons in chapel on far more occasions. I would encourage you to go into every day of chapel with the goal to take one thing away from that day...just one. If you take one thing away, and apply it to your life, your life will be changed for the better. You will miss that daily dose of scripture in your life once you're gone, so take advantage of it now.

#6: Thank the Bon Apetit workers

God has brought these great people to our campus for a reason. They are all great people, and many of them are not believers. Their work can be a thankless, repetitive job, and your kindness goes a long way, believe me. A smile and a thank you, a random thank you card now and then, anything that shows your appreciation for the work that they do for you. How great of a testimony is that?!

#7: Enjoy the dorm life...for a couple years

Some of my best memories came in the dorms...usually after vis hours and usually involving events that are not to be repeated here. I will never forget the night we discovered that Monte Abeler had placed a deer head in our shower, or the night we placed a poopkin in someone's room. The random nights of guys just hanging out in our room until 2am talking about life were something that I am forever grateful for. In fact, 3 of the 5 men in my wedding are from my time in the dorms. Enjoy having fun together!! However, after 2-3 years, move out. Don't spend all 4 years in the dorms. It is good for you to get out, apartment shop, and pay rent and utilities. You can still live with great guys (I currently live with 5 other guys), but the extra responsibility of apartment or house living is something you need to experience before graduating.

#8: Take a class you don't think you will like

I hate science. Detest it. Nothing about biology labs is appealing to me. So when I signed up for honors biology for my lab science gen ed, I asked myself what I was thinking. Yes, it included a 9 day trip to Japan to study marine biology, but I hated science! You know what? Of all the classes I have taken at NWC, that class with Dr. Winslow was far and away my favorite. In fact, Dr. Winslow has been so helpful in my process in getting offered my job in Japan next year, even writing one of the reference letters for me. Another example is History and Philosophy of Math.... snooze fest, right? That's what I was expecting when the registrar told me that Probability had been cancelled and in order to graduate I had to take that class instead. It turned out to be a pretty fun class, and I'm glad I took it.

#9: Don't assume your peers are Christians

I was told this at a conference my freshmen year and it really made me think. I just assumed people were Christians at Northwestern, but the more I got to know people, the more I realized that there are (unfortunately) people who come here with a false sense of being saved. Ask for people's testimonies, and once you get to know people you should ask the tough questions that get to the nitty gritty. Some people grew up in a Christian home and have always assumed they are saved, yet they have actually been riding on their parent's salvation. There are other examples, too, and I'm not trying to single out people from that background, but it is a very real thing that happens at all Christian colleges.

#10: Limit your complaining

I'm the first to complain about the raising cost of tuition or the annual Humans vs. Zombies event. There are definitely things at Northwestern that aren't ideal. But you know what? I would gladly go $32,000 in debt again in order to experience what I have experienced in my 4 years here. Looking back on who I was when I came to Northwestern, I don't think I would even recognize myself if 2009 Kassidy showed up here. Like I said earlier, the people at Northwestern have taught me what it means to have a true relationship with Christ and how to truly be a man in relentless pursuit of God's heart. I could not thank the NWC football coaching staff enough for how they have impacted me and taught me what a true man looks like. I couldn't thank my professors enough for sharing their wisdom with me and helping me learn what it looks like to worship God through math. I couldn't give enough thanks to the great friends I met here and the great memories we have had together, as well as the deep and intimate conversations we have had. Northwestern has seriously been one of the biggest blessings of my life, and I will gladly pay the $300/month for my loans because I know that those loans allowed me to go to a college that changed my life for the better. God has truly blessed us with an amazing school, and we need to look past the small, quirky things in order to be thankful for what we have been blessed with. For what I have been blessed with in my life, I could never repay.


So there you have it, my top 10 words of advice for current and future UNWSP students. I'm going to miss this place so much. To my loyal readers, I apologize for not getting any humor worked into this post...I didn't want to force humor into it. Rather, this time around I hope what little wisdom I have will be of help to someone and encourage someone in some way. Don't waste your years here. I've caught myself looking at the beauty of Northwestern this week...we have a beautiful campus. Go exploring, find little known places like 5th floor Naz. In the words of Coach Talley, "Live the legacy, leave a legacy." What kind of legacy are you going to leave? I hope mine has been a good one.

For the last time ever, these have been my thoughts from the guard shack.

Well, this is it!

Well this is it. After 3 months and 3 days, my Thoughts from the Guardshack is giving its final thought. As promised, this post has been written entirely while I sit on my butt in the guard shack…it’s the only proper way to write the last one. I will close this blog out a little more properly at the end, BUT FIRST we have a champion to crown! The Bachelor to the Rapture tourney has become a hot topic on the NWC Eagles Football team, and I get asked almost daily about some aspect of the tournament. I’m glad that what started out as something to pass the time as I sat here overnight and waved at the 2 people that would come onto campus (1 of which being the newspaper delivery lady) turned into an enjoyable piece of reading for some. I have put some additional research into this final installment and have interviewed both contenders to get a little more in depth.

Introducing: Daniel “DJ” Pyle

DJ came from Tim Youtzy’s bracket and had to battle Jacob Fletcher, Josh Sinnen, Kevin Langmade, and by far the toughest opponent in James “DJ Changalang” Chang to reach the championship match up  DJ is a stunning 6’1” 225lb hunk of Florida-raised, orange-fed man that is self-described as 50% Mexican and 50% mutt. Daniel attended Calvary Christian Academy, where he “didn't do a lot.” That’s a quote from the man himself. However, he was captain of the all-star football team he was on and also went to prom his senior year (junior year was a no-go tho fo sho). A little bit about his senior prom…his date was “obsessed with me, but I didn't want to date her, but I didn't know how to cut ties.” Talk about playing hard to get! Actually, he revealed that the main reason was that he was coming up to Minnesota and wanted to be available to the lucky ladies of the N-Dub. When asked about what he looks for in a girl, Deej said that he loves very blue eyes, brunette with blonde highlights (or blonde with brown highlights), Caucasian, and taller but not taller than him in high heels. And also, listen up ladies, he wants 2-3 kids (family man!!). When DJ first found out he was in the championship he was upset…really upset. It took him a solid week to begin to embrace the fact that he might actually win something for the first time in his life! (sorry Deej…that was a low blow…I apologize..kinda). By the time I interviewed him, he was running his mouth like a boxer before a match (see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsAC4lhbE0g). His quotes include “Bauman has less time at NWC and he will be out in the real world with more options” and “It’s time for an upset.”

The Challenger: Joey “Big Stick” Bauman

Joe was ranked #1 overall in this tournament to begin with. He marched easily through Marshall Repp, Caleb Couwenhoven, Kabakas “Big Smooth” “CoCo Bear” Clark, and Cyle DeBoer. His dominance is like Goliath…no one he has faced has stood a chance. I wish DJ’s first name would be David, because that would make for a super sweet Bible metaphor here, but alas I just have to abruptly end it...thanks a lot Deej. Joe is 5’9”212 lbs and was, until this year, the only NWC Eagle with a state championship ring. During his high school career Joe was a pretty good basketball player as well, and was the SnoDaze King his senior year as well as the lead guitarist at prom. That’s right, ladies, the man taught himself how to play guitar. Speaking of prom, his date, Jennifer, refused to go to prom unless she could go with him. Why he didn't take that and run with it just adds to the picture of how determined he is to stay single. Other female interaction came in college, where Joey has been a study partner with a girl in his biology class. While this might not seem like much, it’s a lot for Big Stick. In complete opposite fashion of DJ, Joe’s face would light up every time someone asked about who was in the championship. Deej’s frustration only added to Joey’s joy and pleasure of being there. When asked for a comment on why he should win this tournament, without missing a beat Joey said, “The day I was ranked number one overall was the day I won.”

SOOO. Both sides have been evaluated, but there can only be one winner. Who will be the Bachelor to the Rapture?

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I predict that JOEY “BIG STICK” BAUMAN comes away with the win and takes home the coveted (or maybe not so much?) ring and title of Bachelor to the Rapture!!! I just could not take DJ…Joe is dead set on winning this thing, and you can see it in his eyes. Deej, on the other hand, let slip in the interview that he has a couple fish in the sea at NWC that he is casting his hook towards in hopes of getting a bite. Congrats Joe on the victory and another championship ring to add to your collection!

Well, that does it for my predictions of the Bachelor to the Rapture tournament. Remember, they were only my predictions…I’m excited to see how this actually plays out.

With the close of the tournament comes a close to this blog. I want to acknowledge my inspiration; first, to Lance Westberg for the original NWC blog (http://lancewetberg.blogspot.com/) and second to Tim Youtzy for his blog and his push for me to start one (http://timyoutzy.blogspot.com/). Without these two men, my thoughts would have never left the guard shack, which I’m sure in some people’s opinions may have been a good thing (s/o to the 1^st amendment!). I also want to thank my loyal readers, especially, but definitely not limited to, Tim Youtzy, Isaac Schultz, Lauren Cleope, Coach Kirk Talley (and the sweetest woman on NWC soil, Mrs. Talley!!), and Greg Johnson. Also thanks to all my teammates for being troopers through this and having fun with it. It made it fun to write when people were discussing it. Last but not least, I want to thank Northwestern College Public Safety and all of the student officers who came before me and sat in this shack with nothing to do during the summer. It was an honor to share my thoughts and hopefully provide you with a little humor along with it. It’s been real, thanks for reading. God bless.

4-2=The fight for the title

The tournament is winding down, and there are only two blog posts left (including this one) before Thoughts from the Guardshack follows Yahtzee’s Roll on Life into hibernation. Sorry to start this off on a sad note, but 1) my semester is really busy, 2) yours is too judging by the sharp decline in views after school started, and 3) it just seems like a good place to end it. Before that happens, though, we have a tournament to analyze! We are down to the Final Four: Joey “Big Stick” Bauman, Cyle DeBoer, DJ Pyle, and James “Changalang” Chang. The #1 overall pick is still alive in Joe Bauman and he looks very poised to make a run at the ‘ship. Will he get past this round, or will his quest for ring #2 come up short. Actually, either way he is getting a 2^nd ring…but we all know which ring he wants more. Alright, here we go!

Joey Bauman vs. Cyle DeBoer—Two great guys, zero great ladies…actually zero ladies regardless of greatness. That’s a problem. To be honest, Cyle got put in a very tough bracket, and that is why he is in the Final Four. If he had been in the yellow bracket with Freisen, Chang, and Dontay he would have made a much earlier exit. But that’s life, sometimes the hands of fate slap you in the face…or in Cyle’s case they break a bone in your hand. However, Coach Talley has taught us how to make a positive out of a negative, and I think Cyle will use that. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First I have to talk about Joe a little bit…mainly because if I don’t he will go into a rage because he wasn’t mentioned and didn’t get any attention. Ok, so that’s a lie, but I need to talk about Joe regardless so here we go. Joe has this strange sense of pride about winning the Bachelor to the Rapture tournament. I don’t know why, but it’s almost like he’s found his life purpose through this. I don’t know how healthy that is, but Joe is my brother in Christ, and I support him in his life journey. That’s all you get Joe, but relax, there is more to come about you.

Back to Cyle. He broke a bone in his hand a few weeks ago and has been busy recovering and (hopefully) developing connections with the female gender. This might be through pity points with the cast and all, but that doesn’t matter. It’s just like banking in a 3 pointer, it might not be ideal, but the points count regardless. All of this to say, Cyle makes it out of this tournament, and celebrates his hard fought loss (victory?) with some God-honoring marital…well you know. Joe cuts down the net so to speak and heads into the championship game focused and ready for a tough battle.

DJ Pyle vs. James Chang—Battle of the south here; DJ hails from the land of oranges and Chang says he’s from Atlanta, although I thought for the longest time he was from Madison. That doesn’t matter, what matters is which one will get the lady first. Chang has some mad long boarding skills, and I just read on facebook today that DJ Changalang is coming back. On the other hand, DJ….well…is still DJ. It is appropriate and relevant to greet him with, “Mornin’ Deej” regardless of the time of day simply because for him it’s always morning. Sleepy Deej values a couple things: his bed and his hair. With the hair being extra poufy as of late, he has made several comments about it. I’m not a girl, so I don’t want to assume here, but I’m guessing poufy hair is not tops on the “What to look for in a guy” list. Just like with Joe, though, I will continue to support him in his life journey and let him learn this lesson in time.

Who will win this matchup? I was struggling for a decisive factor that would make this clear cut. I went back and forth and was honestly leaning toward sending Chang into the finals. To clear my mind a little bit, I sent out a twitter poll asking for opinions. It only took one response to get my decisive factor. Of all people it came from my summer blogging partner and the one who got me into all this, Tim Youtzy. His tweet reads as follows: “DJ Pyle advances. Rising asian population at NWC gives Chang a chance.” Boom. Decision made. That was the X-factor I needed and I can’t believe I missed it. I talked about NWC’s cultural makeup a lot when analyzing Kabakas “CoCo” Clark, and it applies here as well. While the N-Dub still has a small population of African-Americans, there is a rising number of Asians. In addition, the startup of his deejay career will help him in that department as well. I agree with Tim, Cyle, Dammo, and Isaac (who also picked DJ) and Mr. Pyle is in the finals.

Here we go, an epic battle for the ring and the rights to be called the Bachelor to the Rapture between Joe Bauman and DJ Pyle. Who will win? Find out in the next installment of Thoughts from the Guardshack (which will be written in the guard shack because it just seems like the right thing to do). 

Who's Heading to the Final Four??

Alright, here we go…down to the last 8 guys. Who will advance to that not-so-coveted Final Four? Of the remaining 8, we have two #1 seeds (including the #1 seed overall, Big Stick Bauman), a 4 seed, 5 seed, two 6 seeds, and two 7 seeds. Now, this would be a huge improbability in the real March Madness to have half the people ranked 6 or lower, but remember these guys’ rankings were put in the hands of fate…or Excel…however you want to look at it.

Also, with the growing popularity of this blog, I want to thank all of my readers… 2 things keep me going: you, and Tim’s blog (http://timyoutzy.blogspot.com/). Due to this widening fan base, I was going to say that this blog was brought to you by Midas, because that’s where I am writing this blog post from as I sit here and get multiple much needed repairs that will take $980 out of my NWC college fund. However, as a D3 athlete we learned all about the do’s and don’ts of life on our first night back at the 3003. About midway through the long list of rules the NCAA comes up with, we were told that we can’t endorse any product or service. So therefore, this blog can’t be brought to you by Midas. Sorry to disappoint, but I can’t (don’t) endorse them. Therefore, this is just another blog post… ah well, let’s get at it!

Bauman vs. Kabakas—Joe is the #1 pick overall in this tournament. When he found out his position at the top the other morning at breakfast, he was actually quite proud. That only confirms my suspicions that Joe is hungry for a ring again…apparently being the only guy on the NWC football team to win a state championship in high school isn’t good enough. In true #1 fashion, Joe holds out on the dating scene while CoCo’s smooth talking and rather fascinatingly large butt gets him a fine lady. Joe is on to the Final Four.

Balzer vs. DeBoer—NWC’s finest vs. Ogilvie’s finest, this matchup is hot. In my last round, I said that Cyle would meet someone at Goose’s wedding. Being a man of my word, I’m going to stay on that track and say that Cyle has the advantage here. However, I think Balzer leads a 4^th quarter drive that makes the matchup interesting. My gut says Balzer ties the knot first…

Kevin vs. DJ—I gotta give a shout out to Kevin here for being a servant leader. After discussing what I look for in a woman so that he could find her for me (remember, he’s a “match expert”) he realized that we have very similar tastes. This is problematic for him because he is passing a girl he could potentially be interested in on to me so I can exit this tourney. That’s servant leadership right there. It’s what Jesus would do. Because of that, and because DJ isn’t going anywhere fast, I’m giving Kevin the nod out of the tourney and pushing DJ into the Final Four.

Chang vs. Dontay—Two former football players who are out looking for a girl full time. I did some asking around about Dontay because I didn’t know him all that well last year (d-linemen don’t spend much…any…time around wide receivers). Turns out from my research that Mr. Hollins is likely to have quite a few connections at least. However, Chang also has his fair share of connections as well, so I don’t know how that compares. This matchup is really tough for me, to be honest, because I would have considered putting both guys real close to the championship matchup had they not met here. So what does a math major do when he can’t decide something? He turns to random number generation…if an even number popped up it was Chang and odd being Dontay. I did best out of 7 and the winner (by winner I mean getting out of the tourney) was….Dontay! Chang is into the Final Four.

Here is my updated bracket heading into the Final Four: 

BtotheR Tournament Bracket--Round 2 Analysis

Wow I apologize for this being so long since the first round analysis. Football started up and zapped every ounce of creative energy I had…even with me not practicing thanks to a bum hammy. Those hour-long meetings really start to suck, especially when you aren’t even on the practice film! Anyways, the time with the guys has helped me get updated on some situations and make my selections a little clearer. I hope you enjoy this round’s analysis.

Freeze vs. Chang— Interesting matchup here with a 1 seed vs. a 4 seed. I want to introduce some information to you from the actual March Madness bracket that I think will influence my decision here…“Only once have we had a Final Four with all four No. 1 seeds (2008)” (source: http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/page/tcmen12trends/2012-men-ncaa-tournament-bracket-trends-consider-making-picks-field-68). This tourney holds true to that, and Freeze’s flowing locks and firm muscular buttocks (too much?) find him a woman, and he lives happily ever after. Chang long boards into the next round.

Bauman vs. Couwenhoven— Big Stick walked through the first round with absolutely no resistance while Caleb had to battle a bit with Dammo. Honestly, that means nothing in this tournament, but it seemed to fit with the whole March Madness theme. Regardless, this time around Joe’s matchup is more like NWC vs. a school from the Big East conference…little bit closer than playing an SEC school but still a blowout. Joe continues his quest for another championship ring to go with his high school one.

Balzer vs. Billy Bob— Oh man this one is tough. You have NWC’s most eligible bachelor and then you have a military man (ladies love a man in uniform!). Balzer has 2 years of school left, while Billy Bob has 3 along with some overseas duty somewhere during that too. I have to go with my gut here and say that Billy Bob meets a lovely military girl or a girl that comes from a military family and they enjoy life with their own little regiment (kids). Balzer moves on to his engineering career and the next round.

Youtzy vs. Langmade—Both guys are coming off easy wins (I hope…since Kevin was matched up against me and all…) and are coming into the dating scene hot. Youtzy is a running back, which means he gets the 2^nd most attention from the ladies. Kevin’s main position is kicker, which means girls consider him as more of a friend to take along on their shopping trips. Kevin has a few more connections with the NWC ladies than Tim does, but I say that Tim’s age and 1,000 yard season get him a one way ticket out of the tournament. Kevin moves on in the 1 vs. 5 seed upset.

Kabakas vs. Entler—CoCo’s interest in white girls (I also found out he likes Latinas, but that’s irrelevant at N-Dubs) helps him out at NWC, however on the flip side I don’t know many girls at NWC who have reciprocal preferences (after all, this is the Midwest). The girls that do are likely to be found living in Antioch. Unfortunately, Kabby doesn’t spend his free time over there, thus diminishing his odds by quite a bit. Entler is currently outside the NWC bubble working his magic. With a greatly expanded playing field, I give the advantage to Entler here and send Kabby to the Elite Eight.

Kendall vs. DeBoer— Cyle is best friends with Goose, who made an early exit in this tourney. He will undoubtedly be involved in Goose’s wedding in some way, which will provide him with an opportunity to meet someone. Unfortunately, I’m assuming a lot of the college kids at that wedding will be from the N-Dubs, thus not opening up a whole lot of new opportunities for Cyle. On the other side, preseason All-American Kendall “430” Sommerlot will be ripping things up on the defensive side of the ball from his linebacker spot. King of short short Thursdays, Kendall’s physique is a wonder to behold. I say that Cyle has a glimmer of hope at Goose’s wedding, but Kendall finds a country girl just in time and takes himself off the market.

Sinnen vs. DJ—This one is pretty cut and dry. Sinnen has a great girl and told me the other day that he has roughly a 2 year time frame on the ring, while I’m not even sure if Deej has talked to a girl since he got to NWC. Unless he meets a freshman girl this year that loves sleeping, poufy hair, and flannel sleep pants as much as he does, DJ advances.

Dontay vs. Tim VB—So I thought Dontay was going to play this season, but unfortunately we are Dontay-less for our 2012 campaign. That really hurts his chances of exiting this tourney in my opinion...Although, maybe now he will have more time to get to know the lovely ladies of the 3003. Both of these guys are quieter and more soft spoken, but some ladies find that attractive (mostly because they usually talk entirely too much and can’t afford to have a guy that wants to express his thoughts…haha ok so I exaggerated that, but you get my point). The advantage here goes to Tim, simply because of the statistics: NWC is home to a lopsided ratio when it comes to cultural background. Less options for Dontay=more chance of Tim finding someone first.

 So those are my 2^nd round rankings. Feel free to disagree..after all this is America! I hope to hear which ones you disagreed with and why. I will hopefully be working on the Elite Eight matchups soon (as football allows). Until then, be on the lookout for girls that would help any/all of us get out of this tourney!

Here is an updated version of what my bracket is looking like:

BtotheR Tourney--First Round Analysis

Well, by now hopefully you have gotten a chance to look at the bracket. I have gone through the entire first round (including play-in games) and have done hours of research to provide you with a matchup-by-matchup analysis. This required some serious Facebook creeping...and I mean serious. I don't think I've ever creeped that hard. Anyways, I've done some research, and this is what I've come up with.

Play-In Games:

Repp vs. Voelker—This is an interesting matchup. Repp has been with Molly since freshman year (not officially, but we all knew what was going on). Repp is one of those guys who’s never in a hurry. Voelker battled through the distance for a year and now has his girl only an hour and a half away if my facebook creeping serves me right. Voelker has 3 years left on his degree, and the guy studies like a machine. Despite that, I say Voelker is the one-and-done in the BtotheR tourney. Repp’s chill pace advances him to the next round.

Goose vs. Padgett—Padgett has been with his girl since June 10, 2009. They have been known to pull an April Fools engagement in the past and it was pretty life-like. They have some distance going on just like Voelker. Goose has his girl close by at the 3003, but I’m not sure how long they’ve been together. I still give this one to Goose, mostly because if I remember right Padgett’s girl is a year or 2 younger than him. Padge is on to the next round…barely.

First Round:

Bauman vs. Repp—this matchup is about as close as NWC football playing some SEC school. Joe is about as single as single gets as of right now, and he has told me that he hasn’t even casted his pole to get some bait in the water so to speak. Repp was on phase 4 of the Relationship Poop Cycle as of last May (reference: http://clubtrillion.blogspot.com/2011/04/relationship-poop-cycle.html). Joe isn’t even on the Poop Cycle…Joe moves on to the next round easily.

Caleb Couwenhoven vs. Dammo—two good lookin guys that as far as I know are single. Dammo has been working the education department for years with no luck. Caleb is a youngster yet who as far as I can tell is still studying film and scouting reports on what NWC has to offer. Caleb’s bro Luke got married young, but I think Caleb outlasts Dammo and moves on to the next round when Dammo finds a great lady at the school he ends up at.

Simon-Wallace vs. Kabakas—Little known fact about Kabby, he is attracted to Caucasian women, which works in his favor at the N-Dubs. Chris is adjusting to the change from Bethel girls to NWC girls and is comin’ in hot. I think the first upset of the tourney happens here, with Kabakas moving on to the next round.

Entler vs. Horsch—Entler is coming off a relationship a few months ago while Horsch is scouting out this options after transferring in last year. With Entler graduated and out in the real world, his options go a little beyond the 3003. Even with that factor, I’m going to say Horsch knocks himself out of the tournament and Entler advances in a rankings upset.

Balzer vs. Zeller—Zeller has had some attempts during his 4 years at N-Dubs. On the flip side, Balzer, NWC’s most eligible bachelor and 2 sport stud has not even allowed himself to enter the market during his time here. Now he will be at the U for the next 2 years finishing up his degree, and I don’t see him changing his study habits now. Balzer advances easily while Zeller enjoys the married life.

Billy Bob vs. Swore—Marine vs. All-American. Both are single and hot items if I do say so myself. Swore is in his super senior season, while Billy Bob is entering his 2^nd year. We have been working on Swore to ask a certain professor on a date for a couple years now, but he isn’t budging. There can only be one reason for this resistance: he smells blood in the water. Like a shark, I say he swoops in on an unsuspecting lady and Billy Bob advances.

Kendall vs. Ostrom—Both have had their ups and downs in the dating world. Ostrom has been flawless in his role as Repp’s wingman, but now it’s time for him to branch out on his own too. Kendall is looking for a country girl who wants to get out of the cities as much as he does. I predict that Ostrom meets a lovely lady at Repp’s wedding and Kendall advances to the 2^nd round.

Cyle vs. Dexter—the pride of Oglivie, Cyle is another hot item that our lovely NWC girls just haven’t realized is on the market yet. Dexter is a 2 sport athlete and part of the “fab freshmen” or something like that. After some research, it looks like he has a special someone in his life (May 15, 2010)! With a 2+ year relationship on Cyle, Dexter is out and Oglivie’s finest moves on to the next round.

Youtzy vs. Padgett—This is another one of those NWC vs. and SEC team type of matchups. As much as Tim is striving for Relationships 201, Padgett is light years ahead, and even with Tim’s 4.3 40 speed he won’t be able to catch up. Tim moves on while Padge enjoys the married life.

Me vs. Kevin—This is funny, because Kevin has labeled himself a “match expert” and promised me a girl by last May. Obviously that didn’t happen and we are both sitting here single. I have a conflict of interest because I really hope Kevin moves on; I hope to be out of this tourney as early as possible. Lord willing (please, God, please) I get lucky…both here and on my wedding night…and Kevin moves on to the next round.

Sinnen vs. Meredith—Sinnen has himself a lovely lady while as far as I can tell Meredith is still in Relationships 101. Sinnen is still young, and I don’t see him popping the question for a couple years. Meredith is one year older, but is a few years behind in the girl department. I give the wedding win to Meredith is a come from behind surprise. Sinnen moves on to the next round.

DJ vs. Fletcher—Sleepy Deej has some great hair, especially when he wakes up in the morning. His future wife will love it. Fletcher has great moves, at least from what I see during games when he’s signaling plays. It’s those moves that get him the girl long before Deej rolls out of bed.

Friesen vs. Max—Friesen is another 1 seed, and just like the other one seeds, I don’t see this being a contest. Max has had his girl for a few years, and I say he has the question popped before Freeze reels his catch in. Freeze on to round 2.

Chang vs. Durkee—What this comes down to is age. Durkee is older (and is also off the market), Chang is still a young buck. Advantage here goes to Durkee big time in my mind, although maybe if Chang finds a long boarding girl they could have some pretty sweet dates! Still sticking to my gut…Chang is on to round 2.

Van Zee vs. Dontay—Van Zee was one of the “fab freshmen” along with Dex and Caleb, and he is a hottie ladies! If I was of the XX chromosome type I would have given him my number by now. Dontay is a quiet guy, but don’t let that fool ya. You have a great guy right there. The advantage here goes to Van Zee because he is coupled up with Caleb and Dex…power in numbers. Dontay is on to round 2.

Markwith vs. Tim Van Bockel—This is the last matchup for the first round. I am assuming Tim has a special someone judging by the amount of pictures on his facebook that include a particular girl, and I am not sure on Markwith…I have suspicions that are well supported that say he is entering Relationships 201 if he hasn’t already. Either way, Tim has a head start. Despite this head start, I think Markwith’s charm and flawless impersonations get him ahead of his competition and his age advantage gets him out of the tourney early, sending Tim on to round 2.

Bachelor to the Rapture March Madness

Ok, so it may not be March, but this tournament will definitely extend into (and past) March. I have referenced a thing called Bachelor to the Rapture a couple times before. Let me set the stage...when we came in as freshmen football guys, there were at least 8 upperclassmen that were either engaged or married on the team. One of those guys became a dad a couple games into the year too. Needless to say, you were in the minority if you were single. Fast forward 3 years. We are now seniors, and there is a whopping 1 guy on the team that is engaged (shout-out to super-super senior and 2 sport All-American Brian Lecheler!). In fact, we might be lucky if we have 8 guys enrolled in Relationships 201. So as you can tell, we are lacking a bit in the girl department compared to the guys that came before us.

A few years ago, Tim, Kendall, and some other guys realized our inadequate ability to reel in a female and brought about the concept of being a bachelor to the rapture. It has been a joke for a couple years now, about who is going to be the last man standing. Well, it's been long enough, and Tim and I decided this needs to be put into bracket format and played out. Being NCAA Division 3 athletes and devout followers of the NWC DOCC, we aren't allowed to place money on having the winning bracket. However, we can fill one out for fun (and for bragging rights).

Now, let me explain a little about how this was set up. We decided to extend the tourney a little more so we could get a more March Madness feel with the 4 brackets coming together. All of the guys on this bracket are returning players (with the exception of Evan Entler and James 'Changalang' Chang, who will not be joining us this season) who as of this post are yet to paint their name on the Rock. To get the general framework set, I selected (with Tim's approval) the top 4 (Big Stick Bauman, Timmy himself, our bride Josh Balzer, and Big Freeze Ryan Friesen). I also picked out the bottom 4 who are closest to getting engaged (Marshall Reppy puppy, Goose Swanson, Jordan Padgett, and Evan Voelker). The remaining players I put into excel and let it randomly rank each person. So if you don't know why someone is ranked 2 in their bracket, just know it was random selection.

So with that explained, I have included the bracket in a couple forms on here. By all means, we would LOVE for you to play along with us. Fill out a bracket and sit back and see how you do. This is going to be one long tourney (Tim and I have a 5 year roommate deal because neither one of us seem to be going anywhere fast), but it should be fun.

I already have my first round analysis completed, and I will be posting a matchup-by-matchup preview with my predictions soon....I want you guys to have a few days to read this and fill out your bracket before I post my predictions.

Anyways, have fun! This is a tournament where making it to the championship round isn't necessarily a good thing. Personally, I'm hoping to be a one-and-done.

Google Docs spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AlIvSEKNdA7ldGJnOFk2alpfUnJnSURuQ3lHRnJCZmc

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