Country vs. City

Hello my fellow Americans. After my last blog generated some mixed reviews, I first want to address that. I apologize to anyone who was offended by my sarcasm. I honestly have nothing against soccer players (my roommate is a soccer player); they have just been known as field fairies for as long as I can remember. They make fun of us, we make fun of them, and everyone’s a winner. I also want to give a special thanks to a Christian mentor of mine for calling me out on my strong usage of negative language. He called me and we had a nice conversation, and I realized (thanks to him) that I was out of line in some spots. I went back and toned down the harsh spots, and I feel the edited version more accurately describes my point while still maintaining some comedy (I hope). I honestly really love NWC and NWC Football, and it has been by far the best 3 years of my life.

SO, now that we have that taken care of, let’s move on to the here and now. In this post’s thoughts, I am going to address some differences between living in the cities and living in the boonies. If you don’t know what the term “boonies” means, I automatically peg you as a city slicker. But, hey, that’s ok…I hope this blog can give you an appreciation for my homeland.

As many of you know, I grew up ¼ of a mile outside of a small town in Iowa, Frankville to be exact. Frankville is a bustling metropolis of about 75 people, and we technically are considered a village because we don’t have a mayor. We have one bar and one church. On Christmas Eve day the bar has their customer appreciation day, so the town comes and has food and drinks (don’t worry N-Dubs, this guy has a pop). The bar then closes down at about 4 so everyone can go home and get dressed for church that night. Since Frankville is lacking a little bit in the population department, all of us Frankvillians drive the 10 minutes to school in Postville, a town of about 2,000. There are about 170 kids freshmen-senior, and I graduated in a class of 36. That’s right, three-six. You have to drive 15 minutes to get to a town that has a stoplight in it and about an hour and a half to get to an interstate highway. This brings me to my first difference between the cities and the country:

Traffic/Driving:

As mentioned in “Life Lessons from Coach Talley” I am having trouble getting used to the traffic up here. As you may have noticed in the last paragraph, back home you measure distance in time. If you were to ask a local for directions, you are likely to hear something like, “Well you drive east for 4 minutes or so, turn by the ol’ Van Wey farm, go north on roller coaster road for a ways and turn right after the big bend.” Why is distance measured in time? Well, simply put, you pretty much go between 55-60 mph the whole time. Slow traffic is handled easily by passing, and the only time you have to slow down is if you get stuck behind a tractor in a no passing zone (also known as a traffic jam back home). It’s a given to assume you will go a mile a minute (60mph=1mpm for you non-math people out there…don’t listen to her: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qhm7-LEBznk ).

In the cities, if I get somewhere without having to slam on my breaks multiple times because of some moron cutting across 4 lanes of traffic with no blinker, it is a rare jewel of a day! In the cities, my 15 mile commute to Henry Sibley High School (where I coach) can take anywhere from 25-50 minutes. I could rant for days about why this happens, but I will avoid that for your sake. All I want to say is that 1) blinkers are meant to tell others where you intend to go, not where you have already gone or where you have already started going. Even simpler, USE the blinker. It’s there for a reason. And 2) When one of the lanes is closed and you are asked to merge, it doesn’t mean go to the front and try to wiggle in. Get over yourself—you aren’t the president so you don’t get special privileges.

The last point with this is that in the country, you look at who the driver is in the other lane. Chances are you know them, but even if you don’t you throw up the 2 finger wave and smile. I did that my freshmen year up here and I quickly realized from the awkward and sometimes threatening stares that I was on track to get shot at sooner or later.

Country-1, Cities-0

Accessibility:

Back home, if you want McDonalds, it’s a 15 minute drive. Walmart or a grocery store? 15 minutes. Movie theatre? 15 minutes. Gas station? 10 minutes. There were times in high school where I put off filling my car up one trip too long and I had to go to the machine shed (if you don’t know what those are, google it) and get the can of lawn mower gas just so I could get into town. Going to an actual mall was a big occasion that involved an hour and a half drive, and I think I went to one twice in my first 18 years of life. Compare that to now: I can chose between 4 different McDonalds within a 4 mile radius of NWC. There are 2 malls within 1.5 miles, with the Mall of America about 25 minutes away. Grocery stores? Take your pick. Gas stations? A dime a dozen. Movie theatre? One right down the road in Rosedale (AND it has multiple screens!!). The options are endless for things. In fact, when my family comes up to visit, we drive around for way too long because there are so many restaurant options that they can’t decide which one to go with. Growing up, you had to plan ahead because nothing irritated mom more than having to run into town at 8pm to get a gallon of milk because you forgot to put it on the grocery list and now she can’t finish her ___ (insert food here) she’s making for some potluck. Now I can just scoot on over and pick some up. While this is great, it is also problematic. Freshman year just the idea of a McDonalds being so close had me eating there way too much…45 pounds later I still struggle with this fact. But that’s beside the point. The point is, I love having things so close!

Country-1, Cities-1

Atmosphere:

This tie breaker category is a biggy. First: smell. The cities have various smells, none of which bring distinct memories to my brain, unless you count the smell of marijuana that reminds me of when I used to donate plasma down on University Ave for an extra $55/week (quote heard there: "I thought somethin' smelled like weed, but then I realized I'M the one that smelled like weed!"). However, I can tell you the instant I smell cow manure, and let me tell you it is then that I throw my head back, inhale deeply, and sigh “Ahhh home.” I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve heard the phrase, “Smells like money” said growing up when passing a particularly smelly manure spreader. I suppose to city people this may not be pleasant, but let me just say that that smell is why your gas, meat, milk, etc. isn’t even higher priced than it is already.

Second: Wide open spaces. When I go home I make a point of peeing outside at least once, just because I can. Also, there is nothing more free in life than to run around in the yard naked as a small child, and I think this may be part of why city folk grow up to be so stressed out. Once you pass that ok-to-run-around-naked age, you can run around the yard catching lightning bugs or stare up at the stars. I haven’t seen a single lightning bug in the 3 years I’ve been in the cities, and that is quite depressing. For these reasons, as soon as I have kids (Lord willing, and assuming I ever get fully enrolled in 201 and beyond) I will make sure they can enjoy these things.

The tie breaker, in my mind, is not even close. Country-2, City-1.

While my comparison is not extensive, I feel it highlights some big differences. Each place has its good and bad, but at the end of the day, this saying holds true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8-B5cyfK6A

Life Lessons from Coach Talley

Well it’s been a whole 32 hours since the first blog entry came into existence, and I am amazed at the viewership numbers. I credit this largely to Tim; he’s been flawless in his volunteer hype man role. I was even pleased to see some ladies signing on (s/o to fellow Iowan Lauren Cleope!) and trust me ladies, this blog will be enjoyable for you, so keep reading.

So as mentioned last blog, Tim’s Relationships 101 blog got me my first date in about 2 years, and that date occurred last night. My quest for acceptance into Relationships 201 had me taking my beautiful date to the Twinkie’s game vs. the Kansas City Royals. I had the tickets that I had gotten off of Craigslist for a great price, and was praying like mad they were real. The lady I bought them from seemed legit, but we aren’t in Iowa anymore so can’t no one be trusted! With a 5:45pm scheduled date pickup time, I was set and ready to go.

Now, before I go farther, please note the title of this post. You are probably asking yourself, “Why is a post about a date titled ‘Life Lessons from Coach Talley’?” Or, knowing Mrs. Talley, maybe you aren’t, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Coach Talley has taught me numerous life lessons during my years as an NWC Eagle, and two of them really came into play during this date.

Life Lessons #1&2: “Pray without ceasing” and “Take joy in adversity”

It all starts at 4:45pm. I’m at a grad party for a girl in the youth group when my boy Jim says his wife has the car and asks if I could drop him off at his house. He tells me he lives on the way to my date’s house, so I say that’s fine and we head back to the Lodge so I can change into some fresh clothes before we go. We leave slightly before my 5:20 previously planned departure time and everything is lookin good. Then it hits…no, not the Hershey squirts or anything; something far worse—Traffic. As an Iowan, I’m still struggling to get used to the insane amount of time it takes to get places during rush hour. I failed to remember this and plan accordingly, so here we are cruisin hwy 36 at a speedy 30mph. We get about halfway there, and I realize I’m genna be cutting it close to my promised ETA. I shoot her a text quick saying I may be just a couple minutes late.

5 minutes later my ETA has come and gone, and I am just dropping Jim off at his house, with still a 10 minute drive ahead of me. Now, a general rule with first dates is that the guy needs to be on time or early, while the girl really has no time constraints. So here I am flying up hwy 61, doing a dicey 70-75mph in a 50 and weaving through traffic like a NASCAR driver on meth. To say I was comin in hot would be an understatement. By this time it is 5:55 and I’m thinking there’s no way she’s genna be ok with my tardiness. I then take Coach’s advice: I start praying. I prayed for grace, no red lights, and no cops. And ya know, sometimes God decides to let you have your way, and this was one of those times. I got all 3! I went 6 for 6 on traffic lights, saw no cops, and when I pulled into her driveway at an embarrassing 6:02 she was all smiles and full of grace even before I gave her a play-by-play explanation of why I was 17 minutes late.

After the potentially deadly start to the night, we get to Target Field in great spirits and go to the gate. More prayers get shot up to the Big Man for these tickets to be legit; after all being 0-2 with 2 strikeouts is no bueno. But we got through and I could now sit back and relax with my beautiful date by my side. After an exciting 9^th inning that ended in the Twinkies coming up a bit short, we made our way to the car along with the masses. Being roughly 100 lbs bigger than her (and being the man), I was leading the charge through the herd of people, much like what may happen this fall if I play o-line, and she was sticking close by with her hand around my arm. About halfway out of the stadium, something totally unexpected and unplanned happened. As we were walking, our hands hit. Now, normally it’s whatever, but this time they hit in such a way that our fingers literally slid together and interlocked. I swear it was accidental. There was a moment where neither of us knew what the other was thinking, which actually come to think of it happens a lot between guys and gals. After pulling away slightly and getting a read on what she thought (after all it was a first date and I had no intentions of hand holding) we ended up holding hands out to the parking ramp. I was that much closer to getting into Relationships 201!

After getting lost in the parking ramp for a bit (remember, I’m from a place where parking ramps are considered “big city livin”) and taking a bit of a detour in our quest to find 35W North without hitting any pedestrians, we arrived safely back in her driveway. The night ended with super positive feedback and a really tight hug. Between my late arrival, not knowing for sure if the tickets were legit, the freak hand holding incident, getting lost in the parking ramp, and driving around Minneapolis for a bit trying to avoid fatalities, I could have been wound up tighter than a homeschooler at a high school dance. But thanks to Coach Talley’s 3 years of advice on prayer and dealing with adversity I am now that much closer to Relationships 201!

Intro to the Guardshack

Hello to all my followers! Which, actually, at this point is probably just Tim, but hey, that's ok. Drawing inspiration from two of NWCNation's finest, the always wet Lance Westberg and the pride of Hinton, Iowa, Blue Bunny Ice Cream expert, and one of the leaders of the Bachelor to the Rapture movement Tim Youtzy, I have decided to share my thoughts and insights on life with you. Now, there are two distinct places where my "lightbulb moments" happen; one involves a porcelain throne in a small, smelly space, and the other involves an old stinky office chair in an equally small, smelly space (also known as the NWC Guardshack). It is the thoughts that arrive during my time in the latter that I will blog about, mainly because I have more time then and my legs don't fall asleep there.

What have I been doing with my summer, you ask? Well, the short answer would be livin' the dream. How many other people in the world get paid to watch Netflix and/or Facebook creep for 6-8 hours/night? Yeah, the hours are weird and my health is probably going down the drain because I eat to stay awake, but someone has to keep the campus of Northwestern College and Radio safe by waving at the 2 people that come through during my shift.

So while I don't know what I will be blogging about, Timmy has faith in me and I will do what I can to not let him down. If you haven't read his blog, head on over to http://timyoutzy.blogspot.com/ and be inspired. The most current post, Relationships 101, has been especially useful for me. In fact, I'm going to give him credit for getting me a date 2 days later (first date in over 2 years no less!). Simply put, the man knows what he's doing...after all, he is from Iowa. So between now and the next time I throw up a blog (possibly as early as Saturday if something funny happens on that date Friday night) be inspired by Timmy. Until then, also feel comfort and peace knowing your dear NWC is as safe and secure as the White House.