The tournament is winding down, and there are only two blog
posts left (including this one) before Thoughts from the Guardshack follows
Yahtzee’s Roll on Life into hibernation. Sorry to start this off on a sad note,
but 1) my semester is really busy, 2) yours is too judging by the sharp decline
in views after school started, and 3) it just seems like a good place to end
it. Before that happens, though, we have a tournament to analyze! We are down
to the Final Four: Joey “Big Stick” Bauman, Cyle DeBoer, DJ Pyle, and James “Changalang”
Chang. The #1 overall pick is still alive in Joe Bauman and he looks very
poised to make a run at the ‘ship. Will he get past this round, or will his
quest for ring #2 come up short. Actually, either way he is getting a 2nd
ring…but we all know which ring he wants more. Alright, here we go!
Joey Bauman vs. Cyle
DeBoer—Two great guys, zero great ladies…actually zero ladies regardless of
greatness. That’s a problem. To be honest, Cyle got put in a very tough
bracket, and that is why he is in the Final Four. If he had been in the yellow
bracket with Freisen, Chang, and Dontay he would have made a much earlier exit.
But that’s life, sometimes the hands of fate slap you in the face…or in Cyle’s
case they break a bone in your hand. However, Coach Talley has taught us how to
make a positive out of a negative, and I think Cyle will use that. But I’m
getting ahead of myself. First I have to talk about Joe a little bit…mainly
because if I don’t he will go into a rage because he wasn’t mentioned and didn’t
get any attention. Ok, so that’s a lie, but I need to talk about Joe regardless
so here we go. Joe has this strange sense of pride about winning the Bachelor
to the Rapture tournament. I don’t know why, but it’s almost like he’s found
his life purpose through this. I don’t know how healthy that is, but Joe is my
brother in Christ, and I support him in his life journey. That’s all you get
Joe, but relax, there is more to come about you.
Back to Cyle. He broke a bone in his hand a few weeks ago
and has been busy recovering and (hopefully) developing connections with the
female gender. This might be through pity points with the cast and all, but
that doesn’t matter. It’s just like banking in a 3 pointer, it might not be
ideal, but the points count regardless. All of this to say, Cyle makes it out
of this tournament, and celebrates his hard fought loss (victory?) with some
God-honoring marital…well you know. Joe cuts down the net so to speak and heads
into the championship game focused and ready for a tough battle.
DJ Pyle vs. James
Chang—Battle of the south here; DJ hails from the land of oranges and Chang
says he’s from Atlanta, although I thought for the longest time he was from
Madison. That doesn’t matter, what matters is which one will get the lady
first. Chang has some mad long boarding skills, and I just read on facebook
today that DJ Changalang is coming back. On the other hand, DJ….well…is still
DJ. It is appropriate and relevant to greet him with, “Mornin’ Deej” regardless
of the time of day simply because for him it’s always morning. Sleepy Deej
values a couple things: his bed and his hair. With the hair being extra poufy
as of late, he has made several comments about it. I’m not a girl, so I don’t
want to assume here, but I’m guessing poufy hair is not tops on the “What to
look for in a guy” list. Just like with Joe, though, I will continue to support
him in his life journey and let him learn this lesson in time.
Who will win this matchup? I was struggling for a decisive
factor that would make this clear cut. I went back and forth and was honestly
leaning toward sending Chang into the finals. To clear my mind a little bit, I
sent out a twitter poll asking for opinions. It only took one response to get
my decisive factor. Of all people it came from my summer blogging partner and
the one who got me into all this, Tim Youtzy. His tweet reads as follows: “DJ
Pyle advances. Rising asian population at NWC gives Chang a chance.” Boom.
Decision made. That was the X-factor I needed and I can’t believe I missed it.
I talked about NWC’s cultural makeup a lot when analyzing Kabakas “CoCo” Clark,
and it applies here as well. While the N-Dub still has a small population of
African-Americans, there is a rising number of Asians. In addition, the startup
of his deejay career will help him in that department as well. I agree with
Tim, Cyle, Dammo, and Isaac (who also picked DJ) and Mr. Pyle is in the finals.
Here we go, an epic battle for the ring and the rights to be
called the Bachelor to the Rapture between Joe Bauman and DJ Pyle. Who will
win? Find out in the next installment of Thoughts from the Guardshack (which
will be written in the guard shack because it just seems like the right thing
to do).
